Redemption: A Kite Runner Epilogue

Nothing Left of the Past

      At the time, it was nothing more than a lopsided smile, hardly there. But as time had passed, more kites were cut down and ran, and that once in lifetime smile came more often. Telling me that underneath all the doing of such a harsh start to a life was a young boy just waiting to let his wings soar high above the clouds, care free, finally.

      I sit there awhile longer, thinking to myself of how all that has become in the past years is nothing short of a miracle. The longer I sit and stare into the abyss of the past, the farther I go back in time, remembering. I can’t help but wonder if his harsh decision in the attempt at taking his own life had been my fault.

      Wasn’t I the one that had promised him he wouldn’t go back to an orphanage?

      Maybe I had been wrong in telling him he might have had to go back there in order for Soraya and me to take him home with us to America. Maybe I had acted too quickly, without thinking. I can’t help but wonder if I was the cause of all the suffering after that night. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed as if I was the cause.

      But then again, wasn’t I the one who got a slight smile to play at Sohrab’s lips a couple years later? Maybe I was the cause, but also the solution to all his fears, doubts, and worries. Can one really be both though?

      Maybe, maybe not.

      I am suddenly pulled out of my daydreams by Soraya’s call to dinner sitting ready on the kitchen table. Sohrab comes running full speed at the prospect of food, dropping his sword and abandoning his wild fight with a pirate. I push away my thoughts of the past -- best not to dwell on it -- and walked over to the table where I took my seat at the head of the table, looking first from Soraya, then to Sohrab. My gaze lingered on Sohrab as he jumped into his seat between Soraya and I, all my fears and doubts crashing back swiftly.

      Soraya sees the way I am looking at each of them, with such compassion and she gives me a faint smile as if guessing my earlier thoughts. I shake my head to clear it of all the memories and doubts, smile reassuringly at Soraya and take hers and Sohrab’s hand in mine to begin our prayer of thanks. Almost automatically the words come out, I no longer have to think of what I’m about to say. We finish our prayer,  and Soraya gives my hand a fleeting squeeze, reading my eyes of the doubts that have clouded over them. Our hands went down and our dinner began. As always, Sohrab starts right off into the events of his adventurous day.

      “So, guess what I did today Dad?”

      I glance up at Sohrab, seeing the change plainly written in his eyes, his face, expression, even his voice from when I first pulled the small boy out of Assef’s grasp. A smile half heartedly plays at my lips. “Oh, I don’t know Sohrab, what did you do today?”

      His eyes are sparkling and I see the trick coming before he opens his mouth and the words come out. “It’s no fun if you don’t guess. That’s the whole point of the game when I say ‘guess what?’ C’mon, you have to have at least one guess.”     

      My half hearted smile turns into a full grin at his words. “Okay Sohrab, I’ll guess.” I think to myself of what he could have possibly done today. “How about this? You escaped from the island your ship had run abroad on and set sail again only to be seen by your rival who you once more come into battle with.”

      “Nope,” he says in a voice full of joy.

      He enjoys making me play this game a little too much, I thought to myself. But I can't help to feel at ease over how happy it makes him. I wouldn't trade it for the world.