Jonesing ✓

Chapter IV

As soon as I land into my bed I suffer complete and utter pain. Mom sits on the edge of it, rubbing my back.

"Aww, sweetie it's gonna be alright." I cry into my pillow. He'll never love me. He won't even spare me a glance or second thought.

"It hurts too much." She pats my back.

"Aww, baby. Sit up." I wiped my tears on the pillow, I sit up and my mom embraces me.

"I know you're sad, but let's evaluate the saturation." I look at her through my tears. She's awfully blurry.

"What do you mean?" He holds me tighter.

"Well, considering what you, Raina and your friends told me he definitely didn't show any signs." She subconsciously rubs my arms.

"Then again I might be stereotyping.." I stay quiet. As weird as it sounds, her random analysis is stopping my tears. From me, reflecting occupies me. Listening to her stops the cries but not the pain.

"Raina didn't pick it up, though. Aren't counselors supposed to notice these things?" I close my eyes. I guess that's why he never paid attention to me. He obviously knew of me, who wouldn't know the person that shares your name, but he never cared to talk to me. I always thought it's his impassive personality. Now I know he truly had zero interest in even getting to know me.

"Maybe it's sorta in the closet... but he bluntly told your father, so-"

"Mom." She stops and looks at me.

"Yes, sweetie." I remove myself from her hug.

"I'm tired and have school tomorrow." She stands up as I get under the covers.

"Are you gonna be alright? If you want, I'll call you in sick for tomorrow." I shake my head.

"I'm fine, I got the easy way out. I didn't get rejected and have to die of embarrassment." She comes closer and kisses my forehead.

"If you're sure,"

"I'm positive." She reluctantly pulls back.

"Alright then, good night, honey." I nod, bring my blanket up to my nose.

"Nite, Mom." After another glance she walks out, closing the door softly. As soon as I hear the click I dive completely under my covers and break down. I'm so stupid. I should've known. Why would he like me anyway? I'm nothing special, especially to him. He's probably already dating someone. I take a deep breath, removing myself from my bed. No, let's not do this. I have work to do anyway. Minutes turn into hours as I try to do my assignments. When I do finally finish, I look over my work.

"Ugh!" None of this makes sense! Taking out my big eraser, I get rid of all the mistakes. I sigh, tucking my hair behind my ear. I'm gonna be here all night.

"Avery Jones!"

"Avery?"

"Ava!" I shake my head when Mrs. Dixon screams my name.

"Yes?" Everyone is looking at me, now. Everyone, expect for Avery.

"Are you alright Ava?" I blink a couple times, pat my cheeks then smile.

"Yeah, so sorry. Just spaced out." Everyone gives me a weird look, but I ignore them. Why won't Avery give me one?

"Okay, carrying on." I sense tapping at my arm, Carla. I turn to her.

"Ava, are you sure? You never space out, especially in this class." I shake my head then smile again. When did they become so painted on?

"I'm perfectly fine, didn't sleep enough last night." She arches an eyebrow. "Volleyball game."