Chaos of Love

6 0 0
                                    

How many times did you alter yourself just for that love?
That feeling of being part of something? How easily you glided into some other persona as if you were changing clothes. Putting on a new layer of make up or adding on some accessory.
Scary isn't it? When you think of the lengths you're willing to go to feel some sensation of acceptance.
What's even more frightening is that you don't even know who you are, while you're trying to be somebody else.
So all you are is just a confused muddle of personalities.
Your soul drowning in the weight of other people, places and life in general.
Trying on every dress in the heap, hoping one will fit; one will make you both feel and look good.
But then again isn't that what we are all searching for? That feeling of love?
In our work, our friendships, our children and families?
Is that search worth the mess? I remain undecided.
My life experiences have taught me that nothing, not even "love", is worth losing yourself over.
Others have had very different experiences.
It is hard, to keep looking for the light in all this darkness.
It is hard to keep spirits high, with reality constantly dampening them,
Keep your feet and dreams on the ground; lowered expectations, then?
Is that the key to keeping sane?
How do you coalesce all these conflicting adages of life to make sense of it?
Dream big but expect nothing.
Stay happy but don't be delusional.
Positivity and hope over reality and vicissitudes.
Staying humble but believing in yourself.
Knowing when to quit but also fighting the fight.
Go with the flow while grabbing opportunities without just sitting back.
See the chaos? The conflict? 
It's draining. I'm tired in my youth. Imagine how I'll be when I'm older!
The weight of the mind outweighs the weight of the world.
Because the mind can imagine weights that the world never even had.
The passion is dwindling; the fire, flickering.
What are we clinging on to then? I can't say. That's honesty for you.
Trying to fight that tide and all but failing; that's desperation for you.
After every let down and failure big or small.
Will love conquer all?
I have doubts. As I have always had.
Love is the myth man created to give meaning to life.
Passion for work, family, better half, for anything.
It's a myth. To keep us going. To give us something to do with our time on earth.
Man did the Gods fool us!
I have no plans for any God to laugh at; not any more.
Love exists when the conditions are right, when the stars align.
With a whole lot of luck involved, it is a farce. A show.
Love is the lie we tell ourselves so we can sleep at night.
It's that hope that we hold on to.
Well it's time to let go. The chaos is far from worth it.
It's not merely because we may never get anything in the end,
It's because of the unfairness of it all. The system is unfair.
It's madness. Here's the final play for sanity.
Let it go. Set those ambitions free. And you'll find your calm.
To be yourself. To be at peace.

Picture PoetryWhere stories live. Discover now