Eliza and Will

Chapter 26

*3 months later*

"There," I sigh in relief, as I tie a knot around a large bin bag that I have filled with my rubbish from clearing out mine and Jane's bedroom. It is the end of June and finally summer, which is the most likely time of year when I need to de-clutter.

I'm almost about to carry the bag downstairs when I pause, having forgotten something. I reach underneath my pillow with shaky hands and retrieve William's letter and the photograph of us from the Cambridge Ball. My heart beat quickens as I stare intently at them, wondering what to do with them.

"Don't throw them out Eliza," I think to myself, before stashing them in the new found space in my small cabinet.

Even though they pain me to look at, I can't bring myself to get rid of them. The events that took place a couple of months ago still bother me most days, and I feel like a different person as a result. I feel as though I am experiencing life through a completely new perspective, which has made me feel mournful of where my past decisions have led me.

I try to breath deeply as I think back to William's revelation in his letter. I cannot believe that I accused him to his face of doing false actions which I believed to me true from another guy's account. I humiliated myself then and in other encounters when I was rude and dismissive towards his pleasant behaviour, following my hurt pride, when all along I should have behaved normally and kept an open mind. My pride caused me to befriend Wickham, a disgusting liar, whom I fell for and trusted because I was so blindsided to see through his false charm. And to further prove William's accusation of him - I haven't heard from him since he stood me up on our first date.

When I think back to William and I's argument now, I can understand where he was coming from. I can't blame him for his thoughts towards Jane and our family as what he said was true. I only wish that he didn't get involved and that he would tell Charles what I told him about Jane's shy and reserved character, so he would know that she does have feelings towards him.

I am still annoyed by his arrogant manner which he spoke to me during our argument. Does he seriously believe that he could have won me over by standing by his snobby remarks that he'd made towards me in the past, which were highly uncalled for?

Perhaps if I hadn't have misjudged him, we could have sorted out our issues and the matter concerning Jane without arguing, thus we might have been in a better situation today. A voice from within me says that we could have been together but I shake my head, my humiliation and remaining unsure thoughts about him clouding that thought. I am quick to deny the ever growing strong feelings for him that stir within me.

Exhausted after the days events and from the thought of it all, I climb into bed and fall into a troubled sleep.

I guess we will never know.

A/N: I'm now at 8k!!! Wow!!! Thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting - I love you all and hope that you enjoyed this chapter❤️