medievalmaide715 asks: How can you convey emotion in a smooth, deep way without sounding cliche or making the story clunky?
Emotions are an important part of any story. In an earlier chapter called "Demonstrate, Don't Explain," I talk about how effective showing actions can be. It's also a great way to convey emotions. They can be worked into dialogue or into a scene seamlessly by dropping them in here and there. Here's a sample scene:
Jane's eyes widened as the man jumped out of his truck and stalked to her car. She gulped when she saw his clenched fists. Maybe she shouldn't have cut him off when merging onto the street.
Here, we can visualize what's going on. We know the guy is angry because of his clenched fists, and how he stalks instead of walks. We can also tell that Jane is apprehensive because of her widened eyes and gulping reaction. Nowhere did we actually spell out to the reader that Jane was scared, or that the man was angry.
Now, here's a sample dialogue:
"You idiot!" A vein bulged on the man's forehead.
Jane stared at it, unable to speak.
"What are you, twelve? Do you even have a license?" he snarled.
"Um, I'm sorry?" Jane squeaked.
In this piece of dialogue, we've laced in some actions, as well as used some strong verbs to continue showing the reader that the man is angry, and that Jane is scared. A person only squeaks when speaking under duress, and snarling only happens when you're angry. The actions use the same idea. Veins only bulge on someone's head or neck when they're worked up, and it's very hard to speak when one is frightened.
In these ways, we paint the scene in someone's head while conveying the emotions we want. Make your words work double duty!
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How to Write Stories People Will Love
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