The Dragon and the Wolf ( Jonerys )

TD&TW

Jon didn't know what he was doing nor where his feet were taking him. He was walking down the corridor of the old boat and with every step, the wooden floor would make a noise. It was barely audible but to Jon, it felt like it would wake the whole boat up. Every step was like a stop sign screaming at him.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

He kept walking. The air smelled like salt and sweat but as he got closer to the door, all of that disappeared. The only thing that remained was the most beautiful scent ever. The scent of his queen. He felt like a dog, aimlessly following the smell. It felt like he was under a spell and Jon didn't know if he ever wanted to get rid of it. As the scent got stronger, his heartbeat got faster. With every step, he heard the same words again.

Stop Stop. Stop.

But he couldn't. His brain, hell even his heart knew it was dangerous. He was walking through fire and yet didn't mind getting burned. He wanted to feel the fire of thousand suns. He wanted to get burned over and over again if that meant touching her. Feeling her. Even only holding her hand. Jon wanted this so he ignored it. Ignored the signs. Ignored the screams and chaos inside of his head. He only focused on the warmth, the feeling he would get if he stared into the white-haired woman's eyes. There was a fire, burning endlessly behind those blue eyes but somehow it felt safe. It felt good. It felt... True.

Jon didn't want to let go of that. Being a man who constantly lived in cold, he needed it. The cold wasn't just in the air, it was also in his heart. He didn't let his heart want anything after that frozen night with Ygritte. After he got betrayed by his lover. Later, he also felt the cold touch of death, like Ygritte. The only difference was that he was back and alive. Unlike her, who was six feet under the ground. He knew he had a second chance for some reason and he was dedicated to spending this chance protecting his home, his loved ones, and his heart. He didn't want to get burned by the cold again.

And yet with this woman, he wasn't afraid. Jon wanted to get burned. She made him feel like dying again wouldn't be so scary if it was for her. He felt like being burned would be the most glorious thing in the world if it would come from the fire at her fingertips. The fire he felt when their hands touched for the first time, like hell and heaven together. He didn't want to let go of that. He wanted all of it, gods know he did. And he wanted her to have all too. He wanted her to have the world. He was ready to do anything, give her everything to see that little smile of hers again.

Jon finally came to her doorstep and his heart stopped. Every muscle in his body felt like stone. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. It was like the air was refusing to get into his lungs. He kept staring at the wooden door. The only thing separating him and his queen was that piece of wood. It was funny, a couple of weeks ago they were miles apart, unaware of each other, maybe seeing each other as a thread. But now they were so close, and yet so far. That thin door, at that moment, felt like it was separating the worlds. The worlds of ice and fire. The worlds of the dragon and the wolf. The worlds of two lovers. He didn't know if Dany felt the same way. If she was just being polite so they can have a successful military alliance. The thought of Dany, seeing him only as an ally hurt him more than he'd like to admit.

That woman, that stubborn woman got a hold of his heart and he knew he wouldn't be able to get free of it even if he wanted to. And there had been times, he wanted to. Like the first time, he became aware of his feelings. The first time his body got caught on fire with just a look. A look from that bright blue eyes. The eyes that hid the pain of the past, the eyes that hid the woman once she was. Her eyes. They were probably hiding away millions of things from the world and yet Jon wanted to know all of them. Every little thing. Every single detail.

He tried to breathe, he did but every try failed miserably. His heart was about to beat out of his chest. His lungs, his chest, and every cell in his body were burning. Burning with fear and desire to hold his queen in his arms. He was afraid. Hell, he was terrified. Terrified of the feelings, of the yearning that was pulling him. Terrified of her. Terrified of love.

Jon wasn't a stranger to love. He felt it with Ygritte but when Dany came, he started to question it. Maybe Ygritte was an almost. He almost loved her. She was almost the thing he wanted. They almost made it. Almost.

But when it came to Dany, he was certain.

The feelings he had for Dany maybe have gotten stronger over time but they were always there, right from the beginning. It didn't develop over time, it was just there. She was burning and cooling him down all at once. It was filling and emptying him all at once. It was killing him but also saving him. That's how he knew. That woman made him want to live, not just survive. She was the world for him. She was free as the wind but steady as earth. She was like water. Powerful enough to kill him yet soft enough to cleanse him. And she was the fire. Eternally burning.

He hesitated as he stared at the three-headed dragon for a long while. It reminded him of Viserion. The dragon that was lost to save him. The child of Dany. It reminded him how painful it was to watch one of the magnificent beasts fall to the ground. He remembered the pain in his queen's eyes. She lost a child for him. He wished he could take it all back and save Dany from her misery. But the past was in the past and the damage was done.

He was finally able to move his hand towards the door. He hesitated again. What was he doing? He was about to barge into her room and do what? Talk to her? Kiss her? He was bad at this. What was he supposed to do? Maybe he needed to go back, and leave before it was too late. But he couldn't. He couldn't leave, he knew he couldn't. Not when he was this close to her.

Stop.

No. Jon had to do it. He at least had to try. He knew he wouldn't be able to survive without holding her any more than he could stop breathing. But was it the right thing to do?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The time slowed down and nearly stopped. The only sound he could hear was his unstable breathing. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He took a deep breath and reminded himself who he was. The 998th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. The resurrected. The King in the North.

She opened the door.

A lover. He was a lover. He loved her.

He stared at her for a moment, lost for words. She didn't say anything, the look in her eyes said it all. The ocean eyes that were way too good at hiding every thought, every fear, and every emotion from the world were staring back at him. And they were showing something.

Love.

She loved him.

He didn't say anything, he just moved forward and got into the room. The rest of the night changed everything for them. 

(Uploaded: August 2017/Edited: September 2022)