How to Not Circle the Drain: Keeping it Together in the 21st Century

Happiness is a Science Now

The Once Elusive Butterfly of Happiness:  Caught in a Net

Modern positive psychology draws its fundamental roots from the Greek philosopher Aristotle’s concepts including an innate potential for good in the human, a constructive force which can be exercised and developed through concentrated effort and focus.  The idea of developing human potential as a gateway to a life filled with greater well-being is nothing new;  but never before has there been so much research and information available about what elements may best contribute to and support building “the good life.”   The term positive psychology was first uttered by humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow in 1964, and North-American psychologist Martin Seligman spearheaded the explosion of the field in the late 1990s.  Positive Psychology is a science that focuses on building on strengths, cultivating well-being,  demystifying happiness, and producing optimal functioning.  It grew as a response to a disease model and mental illness focus of psychology and provides a framework for considering not only the negatives in life, but rather a more holistic view that integrates both the positive and negative aspects of the human experience. 

Psychology will always deal with problems, character deficits, and disorders.  Positive Psychology offers us methods and skills to balance the equation by identifying and building on strengths,  and considering  what is good and going well in people and for people.  The classic foundational question of psychotherapy of “How might one suffer less?” now includes the question “How might one not only survive, but thrive?”  It may seem self-serving to some to study happiness in a world rife with miserable conditions of hunger, poverty, oppression, disease, and war.  Research findings support the theory that being happy motivates people to action in the world, to helping others, much as depression may  cause retreat, isolation, and disconnection from the greater world and role of engaged citizen.  The problems of the world will only ease and change with the participation of people willing and able to function as change agents.  So cultivating one’s own happiness and well-being may well influence one’s energy and enthusiasm to participate in the greater world in a constructive way. 

What is happiness anyway?  While many techniques for cultivating happiness may be universally effective, it may be helpful to consider that cookie-cutter approaches are rarely the most useful.  Culture, life circumstances, and individual temperament need to be considered to optimize any approaches or techniques for cultivating happiness.  Some components that may constitute happiness for a North-American obviously may not be globally applicable.  Psychologist Sonja Lyubormirsky wrote the book The How of Happiness and described happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”  She has developed a formula for how much influence one actually has over their level of happiness:  approximately fifty percent of happiness is determined by genetics, ten percent on life circumstances, and forty percent depends on our daily activities and how we focus our attention.  Forty percent is statistically significant, that's a huge percentage that we can influence and direct in our favor in the endeavor of creating happiness.

What constitutes the good life is important information in an age of the glorification of material wealth and “he who dies with the most toys wins.”  The science of happiness and the strategies for application in daily life may provide a  powerful antidote to the modern world of consumption, advertising, reality television, and the cult of celebrity.    It is important to consider that happiness is not a static state or a finish line.  Cultivating happiness and well-being is a process and happiness is a state that is not always desirable or possible.  Emotions are a way for humans to get important information that directs action and interaction.  A negative or painful emotion may be entirely appropriate to a situation and direct action that keeps one safe, sane, and whole.  Opportunities for building more happiness may be maximized when appropriate, and often consist of small and incremental changes that become new habits over time with consistent application. 

The following partial list of practices that enhance happiness and well-being is a compilation of the work and research of Sonja Lyubomirsky, Rick Hanson, Martin Seligman, Daniel Gilbert, and Tal Ben-Shahar, along with information from my own personal and professional practice.  The practices work best when customized by test-driving and determining what frequency, form, and timing works best for you:

 1)  Practice gratitude.  Take the time to notice the simple pleasures in your life as well as the greater moments.   Give thanks for your hot shower, a delicious coffee, the blue sky, your family, friends, job, pets, etc.  Martin Seligman suggests writing a gratitude letter to someone who has been a positive influence in your life and conducting a gratitude visit to share the letter.  Keeping a gratitude journal is another popular suggestion.  Try reflecting on 3 things per day that inspire gratitude, or that simply went well that day before you fall asleep.

 2)  Put time and effort into building and maintaining relationships.  Whatever family means to you including blood relations, friends, romantic partners, coworkers, your chosen tribe - make it a priority to connect, support others, and enlist their support.  Make time for the people who are important to you.  The self-centered pursuit of pleasure does not create a lasting happiness.  Interdependence is proven to be an effective route to more happiness.

 3)  Move your body!  Physical exercise is an important component of any plan to increase well-being.  Build small increments of movement into your day by getting up and stretching and walking around if you have a desk job, are a student, or just find yourself sitting for long periods.  Take the stairs, walk around the block, touch your toes!  Incorporate longer periods of exercise when you have the time.  Spice up your routine with variety.

4)   Be mindful and experience the moment.  Some drifting away from the present is to be expected, but research exists that links frequency of inattention to the present moment and level of unhappiness.  By paying attention to present moment, one can savor the enjoyable moments and focus on coping constructively with the more challenging or negative ones.  Do what you are doing while you are doing it!  Paying attention to your life increases vitality.

 5)  Get sufficient sleep and let yourself relax regularly.  Quality sleep is a cornerstone of well-being.  Make sleep a priority and notice the difference in your day after a great night’s sleep, what you determine to be your adequate length of time, for most adults this falls between 7.5 and 8.5 hours. 

6)  Be generous.  Recent research has shown that people who spend money on others report greater happiness than those who spend on themselves.  Volunteer, give of yourself to others, including your time, available resources, your forgiveness, support, love, and attention.  People who help others are consistently found to be happier.  Create meaning through connection and community.  Join others in celebrating their successes and accomplishments.  This does not always have to be on a grand scale, there are often multiple opportunities throughout the day to practice generosity in small increments.

 7)  Use your time wisely.  Time may be the true luxury in our modern world and it is important to carve out time for people and activities that we truly enjoy.  It is very challenging not to “zone out” after a long day with television and social media, but we can easily find ourselves in the position of habitual spectator, not creator or participant!  Dosage is everything - balance distraction with more active pursuits to create a greater sense of well-being and being “in the game."

8)   Be flexible in your thinking about happiness.  Daniel Gilbert and other researchers posit that we are not adept at predicting exactly what will bring us happiness.  He states that people tend to believe that they will have similar feelings in the future as they are experiencing today.  You can experiment with your own life to see how your values and priorities have changed and evolved over time.  Happiness in some respects may be a moving target!

9)   Install happiness and positive moments in your brain.  Neuropsychologist Rick Hanson encourages us to “take in the good,” but go a step further by completing an install in the brain.  Many times good things happen and we indulge the related good feeling for a few seconds and we are off and running.  By lingering on the positive feelings and dwelling there longer, we influence changes in the structure of our brain.  He directs us to notice what our mind rests upon, and to maximize letting our mind rest on good events and positive conditions.  He directs us to activate positive mental states and install them as neural traits. 


Test Drive:  Start by taking in the good, and linger with the experience for awhile.  When something positive occurs, or you catch yourself in a moment of appreciation and pleasure, park yourself there for awhile!  A recent example is a meeting that my coworker led, that she initially feared would have low or no attendance.  It turned out that the meeting was fully attended and that the participants gave overwhelmingly positive feedback.  Members of our staff congratulated her and she briefly discussed how well it went, and then went right into worrying about the next scheduled meeting.  I encouraged her to take in the good and complete the install by really savoring the feelings of accomplishment she felt both during and after the meeting.  I asked her for more details about the experience.  We discussed it at length and she was able to shift gears and really appreciate and install the wonderful outcome. 

Pick a positive experience or feeling.  Pay attention to pleasant sensation.  Stretch it out, linger for awhile.  If your mind wanders, gently invite it back to taking in the good.  Rick Hanson says that our brains are like a garden that is better at producing weeds than flowers.  We can pull the weeds by decreasing our focus on the negative and grow the flowers by increasing our attention to the positive.  Take in the good, don’t forget the install, assist others in their install, and let your mind and spirit blossom!