I have to admit writing this has been hard. It's not still a tender topic. It's not as if it hurts me to think about it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still miss you a lot. I'll always miss having you by my side. However, I have moved on, made new friends and let go of the old ones that I've grown apart from.
You know !! The hardest part about this is that I really don't know what to write. Most friendships I've had that ended, ended because of a huge fight or something that causes communication to end ... but not for us. Our friendship just ended. Abruptly. Which is why it hurt so badly. There was no closure. No goodbye. In many cases when a friendship ends, it's a mutual agreement. People grow apart and don't want to be friends anymore. This was different.
One day we were close and the next we weren't.
Sometimes I think what did I do wrong? It hurts. Losing you hurt me a lot and I'm not quite sure you know that.
I'm not sure that you will read this, but if you do I'm sure you will know it's about you.
You were my first real best friend that I made on my own. No help through family or other friends, I found you all on my own, and we had some great times that I will never forget. You were one of those people that could make me smile and laugh through some of my hardest time without trying.
I am really thankful for that. I am thankful for you. Though I am a different person now, as I am sure you are too, I am just so thankful that you were a part of making me who I am today.
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You were my first real best friend. Before I met you, I was trying to be someone I wasn't. I never quite fit in, but for some reason fitting in was so important to me. I always had to wear "cool" clothing and hang out with "cool" people. I tried to be someone I just wasn't. I didn't know how to fit in. The people I considered friends then really weren't. They treated me terrible and used me. I just wanted to be their friend to fit in, so I really wasn't any better.
But then I met you. You helped me become the person I am today. You helped me understand that I don't need to fit in. I can find friends that love me for who I am. My goofy self doesn't need to change to fit into society. Though you didn't completely teach me to love myself (that took more work), you sure did help, and I am so thankful for that. Thank you for being my friend.
You're the friend I lost, so you would think I would be bitter towards you or want the worst for you. If you are reading this (and I hope you are), I want you to know that I only want the best for you. You are one of the best people I have ever met. You were my best friend, my sister, my personal comedian and my mom all in one.
Even though you won't be by my side at my wedding like I had once hoped, I just want to let you know I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished in life so far. I know you are going to do great things and some day accomplish all of your dreams.
Though I won't be by your side and you won't be by mine throughout the journey, I just want to let you know I love you and you are still so important to me. If you ever need anything, please let me know. I know we haven't talked in years but I will always be here for you and be that shoulder to cry on, that person to talk with and a hand to hold. We may not still be close but I just want to say thank you for everything you have done for me. I can will never explain how much you have changed me.
When I started writing this letter I was afraid it would be bitter but instead it has turned into an open thank you letter. That's because I am thankful for you. Even though we may not be close anymore, I thank you for everything.
Thank you for making new friends ♥! Thank you for ignoring me so much
