just a dream (camren)

nineteen

January 9th, 2017

Maybe Camila had gotten her hopes up a little too soon.

For the remainder of the Christmas break, she'd barely seen Lauren. She'd messaged, asking if Lauren had wanted to hang out, but the older girl had said she was busy, and Camila hadn't wanted to push her. Respectfully, she decided to back off, but inside, she's dying. She's so worried that history is repeating itself, and that Lauren is just going to run away from her.

"Is she like this in every damn universe?" Camila sighs, looking over at Dinah as the younger girl drives them to school. "Is it just like, written in the stars that Lauren is always going to run from me?"

"I'm sorry, Walz," Dinah replies, "maybe it's not like that. Maybe she really is busy."

"It's Lauren," Camila insists. "She's running. I know it. It's like I can feel her pulling away from me. Maybe I said something stupid when I was drinking? Not even the part about me liking her. Maybe I blabbed about something else? But that night is so blurry, I can't remember everything I said."

Dinah chews on her bottom lip, frowning in thought. "Did you say anything about your whole... alternate universe thing?"

Camila wracks her brain, and vaguely recalls talking about going on tour. "I mean, I might have said something. But she wouldn't have believed that, right? She would've just amounted it to drunken rambling. And the day after, she said she wanted things to progress between us. It can't've been that. She's probably thought it through and changed her mind."

"Well... you said that Lucy switched, right?" Dinah points out, and Camila's eyes widen. No. There's no way that Lauren could be Fifth Harmony Lauren. She doesn't know how she'd feel if it turned out Lauren had switched too. "It could be-"

"Please don't speak that into existence," Camila cuts her off, "it's not. She'd... she'd tell me."

"Would she?" Dinah replies, "from what you've told me, you guys weren't exactly friends when you left. Besides, she'd probably think she was going crazy and cut herself off from everyone, which would explain why she's been ghosting you."

"It's not... it can't be her." Camila shakes her head. "I would be able to tell."

"Maybe that's why she's avoiding you." Dinah replies. "At this rate, pretty much anything is a possibility."

Camila sighs and rests her head against the window. "I should've gone to the store. I think she works every Monday, and I could've forced an answer out of her then."

"Find her when we get to school, then," Dinah replies, "New Year's Day was the last time you saw her, right?"

"Yeah," Camila confirms, "I've texted and called, but all of those times, she awkwardly dismissed me. I just... can't let it go the way it did last time. I don't want to mess this up again."

Naturally, when Dinah parks the car, Camila gets out and stalks into school, the plastering a glare onto her face to show she means business. She finds Lauren by her locker, and grabs her by the arm, pulling her into the nearest janitor's closet.

"Camz, what-"

"Don't Camz me." Camila folds her arms across her chest and sends Lauren her best glare. "Last Sunday, everything was fine. And then... then suddenly you're avoiding me and telling me you're busy. I don't get it. You said that this would go somewhere."

Lauren sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, okay? I needed some time to think."

"It didn't seem like that when you were telling me that you liked me back." Camila replies, before she cuts herself off with a sigh. She still has that niggling worry that maybe Dinah's theory was right. Maybe the Lauren she's talking to now really is the one she's known since she was fifteen. "Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to pressure you or anything. But I've had this in the past. I've had feelings for someone who would fuck me around and make me confused and-"