The Darkest Eternities

III.Glowing eyes

Cara

DAD CAME INTO the home office, a yellow file in his hand. The broad smile on his face fell when he saw me and what I was holding. His body instantly tensed visibly. The file in his hand fell to the floor.

The tears I'd been holding in came down.

"What's this?" I asked. He approached me, reaching out for me but I moved back before he touched me.

"I can explain..." I saw something in his eyes, something like fear but payed no mind to it.

"Then by all means please explain...e-explain why yo-you never told me about this?" I stuttered out, demanding an explanation as to why he'd kept something like this from me.

As the letter stated, he had been keeping me away from my mother, denying me the choice of whether or not I wanted to see her.

I was angry at him. Furious even.

For a very long time I thought that she abandoned me and never wanted to see me but according to the letter that I now held tightly onto, she did want to see me.

We agreed when I left that I was not to even come near her ...

I read the letter out loud to him," W-We agreed when I left that I was not to even come near her ... "

"You agreed! That she wasn't to come near me. Why?"

All these years I assumed that she wanted to leave me, a part of me even thought that I wasn't a good enough daughter for her but now I realized maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe she never wanted to leave me but dad made her leave.

"Cara, you don't understand-" he began.

"You're right, I don't understand. Make me understand..." I cut him off before completely breaking down. The tears flowed like a river, running down my cheeks and wetting my sweater.

"She couldn't stay...she was...not well..." That caught my attention.

"Not well? Was she sick?" He kept quiet.

"...Not the way you might think. You have to understand. Cara, this was not like a cold but she was not herself so...I had to...had to..."

"H-Had to?..."I paused, unsure. Then a question came to mind, something I did not want to know the answer to. But I had to ask.

"Did you make my mother leave me?" I stared at him through the tears. My vision was blurry.

He remained quite as if he was suddenly dumb. This only answered my question. He did.

My heart fell. This was too much for me. The air was thick, unbreathable. Nausea ran through me like a wave. Looking at him made me feel even worse.

I ran past him and he followed me.

"Don't follow me!" I was out the back door and had soon gone past the fence into the woods.

I kept going, paying no attention to where I was headed.

The rays of the setting sun broke through the canopy of the trees lighting the way.

I went till my legs gave out and I fell to the ground.The tears had stopped.

I was not going to think about it, not until I had calmed down, so I closed my eyes and relaxed.

Something about the solidarity in the forest made me cool down. The wind blew loudly across the green leaves of the trees and I found peace in the sound.

I sat down on the forest floor listening to the chirping of the birds. I heard the grasping zwit zwit of the birds high up in the trees. Probably mousebirds.