Shoulda' Let You Go

Don't know what made you think you could lie to me, so....

Aphrodite

Leaving my home, my family, everything I've known for my whole life to start fresh in Chicago was exciting at first, before I got the job. When Ronnie called me back and asked how soon could I start, I was elated and scared. Daddy and Fallon promised they would come see me every weekend; Chicago was only about three hours away, but it may as well have been across the country as far as I was concerned.

The family threw me a big party, but nobody showed. That was fine with me, because I had a great time with my parents, Aunt Angelica and her wife, and a few of their friends. They all gave me their contact information in case I got into a bind, and for that I was grateful. Like I said before, everybody needed rich friends that looked broke. The majority of my cousins were skanks, and all of Angelica's brothers and sisters were either crackheads or boughetto. I was glad they stayed their asses at home.

Even then, a part of me kept looking at the door thinking Dom would walk in to surprise me. I was hoping Aunt Angelica invited him without my knowledge and he would have three dozen red roses in his hand. Dropping to one knee in front of my family, he would apologize profusely before reaching in his jacket to pull out a ring box. Fallon would scream while I cried and nodded my head because I couldn't get out a yes and we would walk off in the sunset together. Yea, that didn't happen.

Dom knew off rip that I wasn't interested in a street dude; I told him that when he suggested I work out while I was pregnant. But that was before I fell in love with him; how he made me feel. Our love WAS love; if I could write a love song about US, I would write it all about him. I'd tell the world about his sweetness, and the beautiful things he did for me in our relationship. Dom had my soul. Dom had my heart. DOM HAD ME.

It was too perfect though. I didn't deserve him; I didn't deserve to be happy. I didn't deserve to live my life happy in a relationship; happy with my partner, my spouse. What I deserved is what I got: Marko. Marko was the closest that I would ever get to a happily ever after, I deserved to give Lauren the opportunity of having both of her parents in the household together. My mother was so bitter with the world when my father left her; even when other men showed interest in her, she threw herself into her job and working to forget, claiming she was making a better life for us. I didn't want that for Lauren. Marko promised that he would be there for us and I didn't have to touch the money that she received from the nursing home. He even put the money back that I spent. Lauren was the reason that I decided to give him a second chance.

We were taking it slow, trying to rebuild our relationship back to where it was when we first started talking. We hadn't gone further than kissing, but I knew sooner or later we would be in a situation where I couldn't say no. For that reason, I had to leave my feelings for Dom in Detroit so that me and Marko had a shot at a better life for our daughter.

After I hung up on Dom, Aunt Angelica locked her focus on the road as we rode in total silence. She even turned the radio off. "Auntie—,"

"Is this because of that Marko?" she questioned quietly.

"Auntie, you wouldn't understand." Rolling my eyes, I turned and looked out the window, trying to focus on the move.

"Aphrodite, I can't do this. I try to stay out of your business because you grown, but—,"

"The stay out of it," I mumbled to the glass before catching myself. Before I knew it, Aunt Angelica slammed on the brakes in the middle of the street and grabbed me around my neck, smacking my face against the window.