Chapter Twenty-Two

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Narumi was there when I first came busting through the door. She startled from where she was mopping the melted snow off the tiles.

"What is it?" she asked, reading the panic on my face. "Where's Bo?"

"Cover your face, Narumi." I kicked off my boots. "There's a soldier."

"A soldier?" she hissed.

"We met him in the forest," I said, running up the stairs with my coat still on. "He's on his way here with Bo."

"What did you just say?" My mother appeared at the top.

"There's a soldier already here," I yelled as I ran past her.

She didn't have to be told twice. She spun around and headed in the direction of her room, just as I headed in the direction of mine.

In my room, I shed my layers and found my veil in the closet, the one made of metal and not unlike a muzzle, quickly tying it into place so only my eyes were visible.

"Olya?" a voice called from my doorway, and I spun around. Zelle stood there, startled by my urgency. "What's the matter?"

I told her the same thing I'd told everyone else. She took off at a dead run, leaving me to finish dressing myself.

I couldn't believe this was really happening. I wondered if I was dreaming. But then I heard them downstairs. The door opening, the rise of distinctive masculine voices, and my mind raced with possibilities.

Why was he here? My mother said we were expecting a major, not a captain. So why had he come?

We descended the stairs once the coast was clear and filed into the den to wait for Bo. We sat in silence, all of us nervous, all of us wondering what this could mean. My mother's freckles were hidden beneath strings of pearls, and her eyes kept shooting daggers in my direction, no doubt suspecting me of something. I kept my back very straight and pretended not to notice.

When Bo finally surfaced from the sitting room, he came to a halt in the doorway at the sight of us all waiting in worry-filled silence.

"A captain," he said, recovering himself. "He was sent to prepare for the major's arrival, but the car got stuck in the snow on the way here. He was forced to walk more than halfway."

My mother snapped into action. "Give him one of the small north-facing rooms. Narumi, go now to light the fire. Jai, to the kitchen to prepare him a hot meal."

The girls leapt to their feet and breezed out of the room. I caught Zelle shooting me a worried glance.

"Bo," my mother continued. "Please keep him in the sitting room with tea until his room is ready. Apologize for the wait."

Bo nodded solemnly and turned to go, but she called him back before he could make his escape. He hesitated in the doorway, looking guilty for some reason.

"What's the soldier's name?" she asked.

There was a beat before he answered. I held my breath.

"Captain Gunnar Madsen," he said finally.

My mother lowered her eyes. After Bo left, the rest of the staff followed, and then my mother cut her gaze to me.

"Zelle," she snapped. "Please excuse us for a moment."

Zelle hurried from the room, while I remained on the sofa. I cautiously watched my mother as she drew breath through her nose, her eyes fluttering closed, as though seeking patience.

Finally, she spoke, "Did he see you?"

"Yes."

Her eyes flew open and she cut across the room to sit at my side.

"He wasn't supposed to see you ever again," she revealed in a low voice. "His orders were very clear. I'd made sure of it."

All I could do was blink at her. "Why?"

She fell silent, contemplating how much she wanted to tell. Finally, she spoke, slowly and carefully. "The captain is a favorite of the king's. He was the first to lead a successful war party into the country."

I fought to conceal my surprise. This was something I hadn't known.

"For this reason, he's promised a wife of his choosing."

"And you don't want him to choose me?"

"I don't want him to discover you're barren," she corrected. "He's a deeply religious man, one of the most loyal, and he could ruin all of our plans. Everything we've worked so hard for."

I went cold all over at the reminder of how fragile my safety was. This was the price she was making me pay for her lies. Our plans, she'd said, as if I'd had any say in the matter.

"Then why did you send him to get me in the first place?" I asked, fighting over the panic rising in my throat.

I wasn't panicked because of what she implied, but because of what I knew. Which is that Gunnar already knew what I was—and what I wasn't. And then a horrible idea occurred to me: Perhaps that's why he was here. Perhaps his religion had reclaimed him, and he'd come to make me pay for the sins I'd forced him to commit.

"The king demanded it," my mother answered my earlier question, and the way she said it made it clear there'd been no room for debate.

I shuddered with comprehension.

If everything my mother was saying was true, then Gunnar should have outed us long ago. And yet he hadn't.

But that didn't mean he'd be content with damning his soul.

Perhaps he'd come to take matters into his own hands—to erase the damage that had been done and redeem himself.

My muzzle felt cold against the rising heat in my face when I mounted the stairs to my room, my conversation with my mother plaguing my thoughts. Fear could be cold, but it could also burn, like a blush of shame on the cheeks.

I found Zelle waiting for me. She rushed to her feet when I entered.

"Please have another session with me," she urged, clasping my hands in hers. "If you've been seen, you should do another session. Just to be safe."

I suppressed the urge to groan but didn't argue. We laid out a thick wool blanket and had the session right there on the floor of my bedroom. I welcomed the silence, because my thoughts were scrambled and knotted up, and I needed them to settle if I was to survive the winter with a house full of doubtful soldiers that were ready to kill me for my mother's lies.

"Are you okay?" she asked once we were finished.

"Of course," I lied. "But I don't know how we're all supposed to live here together."

"We'll have to be careful," she said. "We should try to stay confined to our rooms as often as possible."

"Why should we?" I argued.

"Why shouldn't we?" she shot back. "It's the least we can do."

She was unwaveringly dedicated, as always. That's what these people were like. That's what Gunnar was like.

Wasn't it?

"Do you ever break the rules, Zelle?" I couldn't help asking.

She smiled sadly. "Why do you think I have so many sessions? We're only human. We can't help making mistakes. But we can always try to make amends."

"What if you had sinned to save someone's life, and yours?" I asked. "Does that make a difference?"

"Only the Gods can decide that," she said calmly. "We can only try to undo what has been done."

My hands started to shake, and I had to force out the next question without my throat constriction completely around the words. "To what lengths would you go? To undo?"

"I would do anything," she said with sudden intensity. "Anything I have to."

This was exactly what I feared, and I quickly looked away, trying to hide the look of horror on my face.

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