Stolen-She can't run

Chapter-13

Pain makes us vulnerable. It exposes our weaknesses. Where fear makes us do things pain makes them seem almost fair. How different they are yet how efficiently they work together. A person who has come across both of them becomes either strong enough to face them or weak that makes them vulnerable. I feared Seth, for he could kill me anytime and take his revenge for sending him to jail. I was in pain because he was the person I had loved so much. Fear made me stop in my actions when Seth kissed me, that he might hurt me. Pain made me kiss him back even though it was wrong. Pain reasoned with me to give in, to reduce the effect he had on my heart and me. It almost made it seem fair, to reduce the hurt and to comfort myself by kissing him back at that moment. Even though I didn't remember anything clearly, but whatever memories I couldn't erase of him were still lingering around. With only quarter of my memories of Seth it was painful enough. If this continued all the things which I had forgotten would gradually come back to me. My panic attacks were in control for now because I had only some memories of him. If all of them came back it would take a huge toll on my mental health. I had to stop Seth somehow and get away from here. But the question was how? I didn't even know the place I was kept at. Moreover I couldn't possible leave this place without Chance. I had completely forgotten about him. I didn't know whether he was alive or dead. The task seemed almost impossible if I had to complete it by myself. I had to talk to Seth about it. Surely he would understand and let us go. He was being more understanding than I expected him to be in the first place. I had to at least try.
                I got off the bed and walked towards the closet. It had been filled with some clothes. When did he even have the time or money to get such a place? I grabbed a t-shirt which was Seth's size and a pair of his shorts. I pulled the t-shirt over my head and wore the shorts that seemed like they could fit. Quietly I opened the door of the room. It wasn't locked, seems like Seth was confident that I wouldn't run almost like I couldn't pull of the task. He was right, I didn't want to take my chances. I was still scared. The door opened to a corridor. It was the same corridor. I looked around. There were two more doors at the end of the corridor. One of them was the room I was last kept in. Instead of going in there direction I looked for the stairs. They weren't were very hard to find. The house wasn't really big.
         Carefully I walked down to the living area where Seth had announced his presence after an year. There were multiple voices coming from the living room which died down as soon as I entered. I froze in my place. I hadn't expected an audience. I though they had all gone off now that Seth was here. They all looked at me warily. But before anyone could make a move Seth entered the living room. He looked first at the men in the room, possibly wondering why they were so quiet. Then he looked at the person who was the centre of their attention at the moment. Immediately I lowered my head clutching the T-shirt. Seth walked over to where I was standing and grabbed my arm dragging me with him. Instead of going back in the direction where I came from he was going in the opposite direction towards a door. He opened it and pushed me in gently and then closed the door behind me.
      The room was like a study. There was a huge table in the room with a big chair at its head. The table had many files piled over it with I guess a photo frame. In front of the table there was a set of sofas. The furniture was dark in contrast with the walls. Instead of books there were more files that filled up the book shelf. Seth pulled me along with him and motioned me to sit on one of the sofas. Instead of sitting down on one of the other sofas he sat down on his toes in front of me and took my hands in his. With his thumb he slowly rubbed the back of my hand almost trying to comfort me.
"Are you Alright now?",he spoke breaking the silence.
I nodded my head yes.
"Do you want something?"
"No, thank you", I whispered softly.
"Were you finding me?"
"Yes"
"What is it you were finding me for?"
"I need to ask you something."
"And what is that?"
"What did you do to Chance?"
   My question seemed to have angered him as his hold on my hands tightened. But I didn't complain about it.
"He's alright. He's locked up in another room. You don't have to worry about him", he spoke through clenched teeth.
"I need to tell you something Seth."
     His hold on my hands loosened. My head was still lowered. I couldn't look at him without being scared. When he didn't reply I took it as a hint to continue. Although he was being nice to me I still couldn't convince myself to tell him. I was scared of how he might react. But I couldn't stay silent or I might get into far worse trouble.
"After everything happened last year—", I started but paused as my voice quivered slightly.
"Sabrina you don't have to be afraid of me. Tell me what's bothering you", he said softly.
    He was being nine to me now. It was my only chance of convincing him. He might not listen in the future. Taking a few deep breaths I forced myself to tell everything to Seth.
"After all that you did why are you suddenly being nice to me? Why haven't you killed me already?", I asked him. First I had to know about his motives. Then only could I tell him.
   He took deep breath before starting. Still rubbing my hand with his thumb he spoke,"All that happened was due to my anger. I know it's not a good enough reason but still hear me out."
    He looked at me as of asking me if I would listen. What reason could he even give for his actions. They were all unforgivable, no excuse was enough for what he did. A life was lost because of him, I had suffered so much. Whatever reason he had, I wasn't going to forgive him. Even though I was scared of him I couldn't let myself forgive him. But deep down a small part of me begged me to let him explain. Giving in I nodded my head.
"Thank you", he said,"Susan told you I was cheating on you. But that wasn't the whole truth. I never went on any kind of a date with a girl . I had gone to meet a client. By now you know what kind of business I was doing. Susan had seen me going with a girl at a cafe. And she didn't ignore me like she said, she had followed me inside. But I didn't know this. She had found out that I was doing illegal businesses. Later that day she had called me to meet up. I went to the place where she had called me.
            "I asked her what she wanted and why had she called me. Susan told me that she knew what work i was doing and that she would tell you. I told her that I don't want to involve you in this business. You already knew that I kept you away from my world. For two years I had kept you away from that world. Even when you insisted that you wanted  to know what kind of work I did I told you that you should stay away from it.
"The work I do is risky for you. I've many enemies in my field of work. There was a reason why I kept you away from that. Other than a close friend no one even knew that we were dating. For two year I had protected you from that dark side but Susan threatened to destroy all that. When I asked her what she wanted to keep quiet she asked me to break up with you. She wanted me to stay away from you. I tried to reason with her. I told her that I had already kept you away from my would for your protection. And I could still do it. So she had no reason to fear. Besides if you knew about what work I did you would have been put in danger. I asked her not to tell you for your safety.
"Instead of reasoning with me Susan declared that if i didn't break up with you she would tell you that I was cheating on you. She said she wouldn't tell you about what work I did but still if I didn't break up with you she'd make you do it. Without listening to me she left.
"For a few days she acted like she was upset in front of you. I thought that she might not tell you so when you told me about her I told you not to push it. But in the end you fell for her plan and she told you all that nonsense. When you came to me and said that you believed her I couldn't take it. I thought that it was better that way and I should let you go. Since you never really trusted me I thought it was for the better.
"Honestly think about it Sabrina I had been with you for two years yet you still didn't allow me to go beyond certain things. Of course it was because you didn't trust me fully. Yet you trusted her and accused me after what Susan told you. It was better to leave you. But I couldn't just let you go, I even tried telling you . But you wouldn't listen. When I realised that I had lost you I did all those things. I killed Susan, I tried to hurt you as well. I'm sorry for that. But I've been repenting for it. I know you can't forgive me and I even got you kidnapped. But this is the only way I can keep you close now. I'm a criminal in your eyes you won't accept me. I did what I thought was right."
I was rendered speechless. All those things that he had said, I didn't want to hear them. He killed Susan just because he was angry. All these things didn't matter, he killed Susan. Even if she lied it was all to protect me. She just wanted to protect me from him. And she was killed because of me. Whatever he might say he was still a murderer. Hesitantly I asked him the next question,"How did you get out? You aren't supposed to be out, you were imprisoned for life."
"I have contacts", he said, sighing.
Of course, he had contacts. He wasn't afraid of going to prison in the first place. He knew he'd be out in no time for whatever sick reasons. But I still sent him to prison he would want revenge after all. I checked his mood before coming to the main point because of which I had come.
"Seth, you have to let me and Chance go. If I stay here longer it won't be just a panic attack next time", I said. His hold on my hands tightened immediately.
"What do you mean by that?", he asked.
I looked at him, his eyes had gotten darker now. This wasn't a good idea after all. But I couldn't go back now. It was now or never.
"After we last met and you said those words to me, I got my first panic attack", I looked at him if he was listening. He was extremely silent but he was still listening, so I continued,"It was still alright since I might have fainted from the shock. When I woke up at home mom and dad told me that Susan died. We all thought that she could make it but her internal injuries were too bad.
         "After her death things got really bad for me. After they caught you, things weren't that bad for me. I thought that since you were captured and Susan could be saved, everything was going to be alright. But after you said those words I was scared. I tried to calm myself that you couldn't possible harm me now. Hearing that Susan died was the breaking point.
             "After that I had to be admitted to the hospital. They said that it was a post trauma effect. I had suffered from a lot of things within a few hours. I could not be treated by them so I started seeing a psychiatrist. For a long time they couldn't treat me. My dreams wouldn't let me sleep. In all of them I saw Susan. She blamed me for her death. She was right, in one way I was responsible for her death. My therapy session weren't working and the panic attacks were getting worse. In the end they came to a solution."
"What was that?", Seth asked.
"They decided to erase my memory of you."
        Seth's grip tightened even more. It was getting painful now. Afraid I didn't complain. I couldn't stop now, I had come this far. I had to somehow convince him to let me and Chance go. It was either do or die.
       When he didn't say anything I took it as my que to continue,"You were harming me so they decided to get rid of my memories of you. Although not completely, they refined my memory. Hypnosis was the only solution. They started by making me forget about Susan's death and you kidnapping me. That memory was changed, I was told that Susan was my best friend and due to some misunderstanding we we were no longer friends. She had gone and settled in a different state. For you they made me forget that you had ever kidnapped me or did anything wrong. You were my boyfriend but I never loved you. Since we were never together in school it was easier for them to do so. It took a lot of time to refine that memory.
                  "Later on they started with my old memories so you. Even though I now didn't know what all had happened, the attacks were still happening. They assumed you to be the main problem. So they decided to erase you too. It was hard for mom and dad to agree to this. But I wasn't improving, my health had also taken a toll. Then they got rid of memories of you. Not all of them though, I still had therapy every month to remove the remaining. As I started to forget you my health improved. I was starting to get normal. Since I had forgotten all those incidents I could do all those things again which I was rendered unable to for a while. But since the hypnosis still wasn't completed the doctors warned my that if any incident or person from those memories appeared before me, the hypnosis would start wearing off."
"So you remember everything now?", he asked calmly but his grip on my hand said otherwise. He was trying to stay calm.
"No, I don't. But I do remember what all you did at the end. Slowly all the memories are starting to come back. It's still started therefore I can only remember a few things. But if this continues the hypnosis will wear of completely. I don't even know what will happen to me if that happens. The doctors had warned me against it. That's why I'm asking you to let me go", I pleaded.
"Will you get all this erased too then?", he asked me. His head was lowered but he was trembling. His grip was getting too painful.
   "I have too."
           Seth was too silent. I prayed silently for him to understand. He should understand that if he kept me here any longer things could  get pretty bad. I couldn't possibly survive here a week longer. My panic attacks had already started occurring. If not for the medicine I wouldn't have woken up from the last one. Since so much hypnosis had been done it was dangerous if I stayed here any longer. It was a risky option to begin with. They had given us the other option of slow therapy, but I couldn't take it. My dreams were getting worse. I had to forget Susan's face in them. I chose the easy way out. But since if had rooted itself deeply in my mind, if wasn't an easy task. I could only get rid of eight months worth memory of Seth. But now I knew what I had to do. I had to get rid of him completely. I still wanted to forget Susan's face as she was dying. I know it was a coward's way out but I still had to do it. 
"So you are telling me that you want to get rid of me and our memories so that you can live peacefully while I suffer", he spoke as he slowly rose up from where he was sitting.
"It's not that— ouch Seth you're hurting me now ", I cried as he was crushing my hands. It was unbearable now.
        He was now looming over me. He had let my hands go and was holding the armchairs of the sofa. His face was dangerously close to mine. I pushed myself into the couch trying to create distance. His eyes were clouded with anger. I knew that he was trying to control himself. His body was shaking. Not being able to take it anymore I cried,"Seth you're scaring me, please stop it."
        "Stop it. I'll show you what fear is", he spat it in my face. He grabbed my neck with his hand and started to tighten its pressure. He was trying to choke me. My hands immediately tried to claw his hand away from my neck but his grip was too strong. This was it, he'd kill me now. As this reality dawned upon me I stopped struggling. I was ready to die, if I could die here all this pain and suffering would go away too. As my air supply was cut down I strayed to feel the fire that was now burning inside me now. It's flames were spreading as my lungs screamed for oxygen. It was like being stabbed my million needles at the same time. As the fire kept spreading I slowly started to feel numb. My vision was blurring as black spots appeared before my eyes. As I was about to completely pass out Seth removed his hand. I gulped in the precious air that was given to me. As much as I wanted to die at that moment. I was grateful for being still alive. Seth was now standing, as he looked down upon me.
            His eyes held no emotion in them. Just when I calmed myself Seth spoke,"You're not getting out of here. I don't care if your memory is restored or what. If you try to die I'll call the best doctor and save you. I won't let you run away and enjoy your peace. I'll bring you back even from the dead. You're going to stay here with me as I'll show you what fear truly is. How dare you try to erase my existence. I'll make you fear me until I completely own you, until I'm the only thing that occupies your mind, your body and your soul. Sabrina until now you've seen my loving side which had doted you. Now you'll see what I can actually do. Be prepared, I'll not let you live and I won't let you die. You're stuck with me forever. I'll show you what hell truly is. And I'll start with it now as I'll kill that boyfriend of yours."