State of Heart

The Darkness I Know

You claim you love me
That your feelings have no limit
That they go far and wide
Deeper than any ocean
But how can you love what you do not know?

You have never seen what lies beneath these russet eyes
The rage and pain that I hide under my bed
The fear and dread that I try to ignore
The hope and optimism I attempt to live by
But how can you love what you do not see?

You have never touched my skin
The way it radiates heat
The roughness of my scabbed knuckles
The way goosebumps rise
But how can you love what you have not touched?

You have never slept in my bed
Or listened to how I breathe when I sleep
Or see my hair tangle into knots by morning
Or hold me against you
So how can you love what you do not know?

You have never seen the fractured pieces of my mind
The ones that make me want to scream and wail
Kick and throw my fists against the wall
And to be honest
I don't want you to

It is dark and murky in there
The voices of corruption rolling through my thoughts
The images of stained cheeks and broken bones reside there
And how terrifying it can be from time to time
Though it's what I know

This brokenness which I live in I understand
Though you will not
These are my secrets
My memories
My life

So, in this darkness that I call my own
How can you love what you do not know?

© 2019 K.N. Herzner