Greetings my lovelys!
I decided to share this story today, I have previously in a video posted but it may have been lost somewhere in the grapevine. This is not a story but actually an account of how Lady Torn was started. Ever since I joined social media 10 years ago, I have been intrigued by poetry, dark poetry and dark images. If I read a really good quote or short poem, it would leave a lasting impression, it would be so good, I will think about it for hours after, the immediate effect of it, is euphoria. I am yet to meet someone who feel like this when they read poetry. I would usually place myself in the context of the situation. Whatever the poetry was written about, I would imagine a situation for it, like a movie scene. The setting, the atmosphere, even the music in the background, the characters, what they will be wearing, but most importantly, their facial expression, what led up to the line... (the quote/poem) the reaction of the other character when it was expressed. Most of my work if you sit down and analyse it, are like lines for a character, because that is how I see it in my mind. My images are carefully selected to reflect the feeling and emotions of the piece.
Anyways, since I loved poetry this much, you could only imagine what’s next.... I use to hoard them. Thousands and I am not exaggerating. I even had an online account to save them when my phone space was filling up, however, one day my online account got all used up and my phone was following. Therefore I decided to create a social media account for it, because truth be told, its database and storage of it would not be my headache. So I decided to create a Instagram account, when I did, as usually it asked for a name, I put “Poetry Addict” and then they asked for a user name, I stopped and thought for a while, I thought to myself, well my personal Instagram account name is “Lady Demented”, so it has to be something with “Lady”. I thought for a few seconds, about poetry, I knew poets are ones who express their souls and for them to do so, they are usually torn in some form or the other. Poets tend to use poetry as a coping mechanism, I know I have. But that was my student self talking, as I am a psychology major. And that’s how I used to word “Torn”. So I came up with the name “Lady Torn”
At around 11:30 pm approximately, on September 11th, 2018 I started Lady Torn on Instagram. I used to sometimes post four times a day of all the poetry I was hoarding. The account started growing, I would receive comments and messages of how much the account was helping others cope, as a form of motivation and so on, given the work from other poets that I was posting. What was an account for me, became an account for its followers. I had found a purpose to reach people and helps others by motivating them and helping them through their difficult moments which just over 1000 followers.
In February of 2019, I started a spiritual fast for Shiv Raatri. This was a fasting to remove blockages and pray to Lord Shiva to reduce my Karma. During this period of fasting I had post three original pieces on Lady Torn, which I had written previously and at that time, they actually performed well on the page, receiving more likes than my rest of pieces posted. The fast came to an on the 4th of March which was the night of Mahaa Shiv Raatri. I came on the page a few days after. And within me, I felt this change, like literally something had changed within me. In moments of solitude, words and lines will just come to me, and with little effort I would put a entire verse/quote/poem together. I was confused when it happened the first time, because I reflected on a time before, could be just a few months previously, when I had physically sat down and tried to write a poem, and nothing came to mind, at that point I wondered how do people do this? Like where do they get the idea from or find the words? And here I was actually do it.... Was it magic? It was/is. But it was because of God. I felt in my heart, soul and core that it was because he had blessed me with this gift. And as can you see, the rest is history, This page on Facebook was created. I removed the work of the other poets on my Instagram account and they both became accounts to post my original pieces.
When I posted my first original piece after the fast, I thought hard about what name to put as the author underneath the quote/poem. I contemplated between, “Ashanna” “A. Sookdeo” or “Lady Torn” I could not decide, I eliminated “A. Sookdeo” because I was not fond of it. I still could not decide between, “Ashanna and Lady Torn” so at that point I rushed it, I said, I’ll decided another time and so I posted it with the both“Ashanna (lady_torn)” Guess what? I have not decided till today, lol. I guess it has become part of the brand and now I cannot drop either, as I have build an audience based on that name. Re-branding is hard and even now I do not have the resources to do so, which is okay, because I am that person. I am Ashanna and I am Lady Torn. So I guess that’s how God intended it and I have come to love it that way. It really speaks to who I am, but maybe that’s another story.
March the 14th, 2019 was the day I posted my first piece after the fast and it is that day that Lady Torn was officially started and I accepted my purpose and God’s will. I often write dark poetry as well as soul poetry. But I have received criticism for my dark pieces, as I was affiliated with demons. But what they failed to realized was that “my darkness” was my mental illness, which I have suffered with, such as depression and if you have suffered with mental illness, you will know this. So yes, Lady Torn is an advocate for mental awareness as many of you have seen before. And its quite okay to be okay with your demons, it is what makes us human. Why run from them, when you can learn from them.
So how was Lady Torn was started??? It was magic, my magic, God’s magic. Want to feel it? Come read my mind and explore my soul.
Love you and your demons always,
Ashanna (Lady Torn)
