I hadn't seen him since the day he saved my life, which was a week ago, and I purposefully avoided him when at the palace. He knew I was avoiding him. But I would stare up at my ceiling at night wondering if I had imagined the lust lingering in his eyes, or the pain in the slope of his shoulders, perhaps the fear in Aenessa's eyes as I walked away. I was praying I hadn't imagined it all, that I wasn't deluding myself on these matters, but Adi stayed away and I knew that it was all real due to her response.
The letter from Icas lay untouched by my bed, the seal a reminder of the sins I had committed with him, his scratchy handwriting a reminder that he was still dedicated. Was I? I hadn't had sex since he was exiled, did that count? I'd been so close to giving my heart to another, given Damarion everything that I possibly could without losing myself. But I had lost myself. I lost myself in his words, in his lies, in his arms, and in his world. How could I go back to Icas when there was Damarion? Damarion who seemed like he could do anything, like holding up the worlds for me. All I wanted was to see him smile, to feel the warmth that I knew could radiate from him, yet I knew that years would only be able to allow him to be truly comfortable- because he wasn't now- and Icas, well, Icas had given me everything I wanted and needed. And I loved him, didn't I?
No, I don't think I loved him as strongly anymore. I suppose that came with having someone else take my heart without even asking.
But I still wanted to read the letter, out of curiosity, though I knew that it would only pain me after. Yet I took it to the palace with me one day, sat down on the back lawn, the grass tickling in between my toes, wind gently blowing, and opened it. I shouldn't have been surprised by its contents.
Dear Gaetho,
I hate to inform you that news of your Asgardian suitor is widespread across Asgard and many of the realms that they govern. Of course I would prefer if you married my brother, but alas I have no say in this do I? Then again, I would prefer if you married me more than anyone else- do I have need to proclaim my love for you again? It has been a year and a half since I last laid eyes on you, but news of you always circulates the bars of Asgard, and pictures of a strong likeness to you are shown. I miss you. I miss you more than I can convey in words- that was your forte. Please bless me with a letter back, your elegant script I yearn to see, to hear your voice, that would be a sin I know, but I long for you to be back by my side- even for a moment! I know flattery does not fall on your ears without a strong complaint or glare, I know that you hate to be pushed down and accused of not being strong enough to do something- I love you for it. For your stubborn pride, and chestnut brown eyes, for your sharp temper and words, for your love of philosophy and poetry.
Gods was I always this tongue tied? Knowing me, I most likely was in your presence- all the men of the court were, I don't think that's changed either. I love you Gaetho Adellum Veleris, and even if you don't return the affection (though I wish you would) please grace me with a letter.
Your Humble Servant
Icas Le Deaux
"Gaetho?" A voice whispered, and I looked up, wiping the tears from my face I had not realized I was beginning to shed. Then I realized it was Damarion, his dark eyes filled with worry, and I didn't care if he was lying or not, I just wanted to cry. I looked back out at the trees swaying gently in the breeze, the summer sun still hot but not touching my skin; and I handed him the letter, ignoring the feeling his touch supplied. His eyes skimmed it and I sighed, wondering when I had gotten stuck between two men.
Birds were fighting in the sky. Bald eagles. "This could be counted as treason Gae." He whispered, eyes staring intently at me and I sighed again. "I would say my mother wouldn't care if I was indicted, but if I was then she would lose the position of the mother of the Queen of Asgard and just be regarded as a woman who raised a traitor." I responded, voice soft and he nodded, eyes flickering to something behind me. "Ladies in waiting, walking down the corridor to us." He stated, voice low and I laid back, the slope of the hill obscuring some of my face. "If anyone ever asks I was never here." I chirped and he chuckled, and I wondered briefly if he was hot in his outfit of black and white- I suppose he wasn't, seeing he was wearing more light colors than dark.
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Shadows
RomanceSome things you just can't avoid, like falling in love. As much as you try to avoid, or search for it, it always seems to find you, or elude you. It seemed to find me every corner I turned, and I always tried to avoid it but alas, for some unknown r...