I wish you knew the real me, but ....

water💦

"From messages to calls from calls to mates from mates to dates but all that's left  now is hate"

-katherine.M🦋

Was I an object? Did I use you? Or were we just each other's distractions...

I may not be sun-kissed filtered and poster printed with glitter but you didn't have to do me dirty like that. and neither will anyone else ...is that what things have come to?? That if you are not beauty standard worthy you dont deserve basic human decency ...
Why has the world become such a vain place where girls and guys have to change who they are and cut and paste to be noticed as something special ?
Or maybe it's our fault because we let it get this far...

I criticize all the small details of what I did and what you did. We let what could have been an epic story fade into a dark memory .I loved the way we lied to each other to make us feel secure and pretend that everything was great when we were falling ...the cure for all was affection just physical because we both weren't mature for an emotional connection. A bond that we both craved but to afraid to venture into because those waters were to deep and neither of us ready to risk it ...
I look back and I judge heavily upon my actions I'm not saying I'm the only one at fault but im saying im sorry I knew what I was doing and chose not to stop...
I used you (not my brightest moment)
I had anger and pain that I couldn't contain but your body your presence our heat caused the anger to die down for a while ...You were my temporary fix for my issues a leeway to escape and forget all trauma ...the secrecy of the scandals matters between us made it 1000 times more exciting but 1000 time more dangerous. let us let it rest.

I WAS  DISGUSTED  AT MYSELF BUT THAT WAS WAY BEFORE YOU SHOWED UP...BUT AFTER YOU ,THERE WAS DISAPPOINTMENT AND SHAME...