The ORION Project | ✔

chapter 7

The perfect album to listen to while reading this, Pure Heroine by the greatest artist to ever live; Lorde.

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Sanmi Ilori tried to remember the last time he had been in the same room with Ewatomi alone. Like he had done with Grace, he had distanced himself from his family that sometimes it was hard to recall how they looked like. He rarely slept at home these days, he missed the days where he would burrow into his mother laps back when she was more alive than she were actually was, back when she had cared for her children before her husband's constant cheating and beatings finally broke her.

He remembered nagging and teasing his sisters, protecting them from bullies, their father and even the world. Now he was a useless rag and was nothing more than a burden to them. Sanmi couldn't even remember how old little Rafe was, but every time he looked in the mirror he saw his little brother and hated it. He should be protecting them, maybe then Grace wouldn't have gotten into trouble with the university's authorities.

He had been in the middle of dance routine with his crew, his hands shaking so bad because he hadn't had a dose of the drugs he abused. His phone had buzzed, it had been Ewatomi calling and for a second he forgot he had a sister called Ewatomi. Grace was being accused of breaking into a lecturer's office to alter her low grades, she had fainted, hitting her head on the floor and was now in the health clinic, recovering until she could be questioned in person. For now, the university wanted to speak to her siblings.

The lecturer in question was outside the office discussing in hushed tones with several security guards.

He felt suffocated and guilty in the presence of Ewa who said and did nothing but stare ahead at the family pictures on the wall. He felt the urge to say something.

"How did you know?" He blurted out. Feeling stupid afterwards and ill, by the end of the day he was sure that at least half of the students would know what had happened, Grace might never show her face outside forever. And he wasn't even exaggerating. His baby sister hated attention, a little dose of it sent her running into her shell. This would destroy her, unless there was a  way to stop the damage but there was none he could think of, especially when the urge for his usual dose clawed at his throat until it was all he could think about.

Sanmi shoved his hands into his pocket and waited for his sister to answer.

"Her friend called me, Tope. I know you're familiar with her." Ewa's eyes narrowed slightly and his heart sank to his stomach. A year ago, he had a thing with Tope, she was perhaps Grace's only friend and he had toyed with her heart and returned it shattered. She had seen him at his worst and she never wanted to leave, he had sent her away. Ewatomi was the only person who knew about her, if Grace knew that Sanmi was the reason why her friend almost missed more than a semester last year because of an abortion, she'd never forgive him.

He could never forgive himself.

"Not anymore," the word slipped from his lips before he could rein them in.

"And it is nothing but your fault." Ewa said plainly, she had never been one to sugarcoat her words.

"You think I don't know that!" He snapped. "I know I'm a fuck up, the worst one and I hate myself every damn day."

Ewa just shook her head and stared ahead. She wasn't much of a talker. Yet Sanmi was sure she was seeing someone, Ewatomi was a sad girl, she had always been that way since she was a child, that look in her eyes spoke of a thousand sufferings, but a few months ago, she had begun to look happier and sometimes let a smile dance around her lips.

He stood up suddenly, his chair scraping against the floor. He was desperate to get the hell out of the musty smelling office, it smelt like old books. He was desperate for a cigarette or a drink, anything to take the itch in his throat away for a couple of minutes. Until he went crawling back to Joshua fucking Phillips begging for a fix.