Chapter 16

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جلا وہ آگ محبت کی مرے سینے میں
کہ خیال غیر کا آۓ تو خاک ہو جاؤں
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Stand on your feet. That's what you should do whenever the world throw you down. You could only stand up for yourself. That's what I did. I stood up pulled my self back on my feet.

I walked to the washroom with the saree dragging behind on floor. I pulled on the earrings until they fell of my ears. My ears hurt badly due to rough treatment of my hands but this pain it felt nothing close to what I was feeling inside.

I tugged on the necklace adoring my neck until the clasp broke. I threw them on the shelf above the basin. I turned on the tap and filled my hands with water and splashed it on my face again and again, again and again until it felt that everything was washed.

The mascara stained down to my cheeks. Swollen red rimmed eyes. They told the story about the few hours that I spent on my knees on cold floor. I took the hair tie from glass shelf pulling my hair roughly in a bun.

My lean index finger traced from my eyes down to my cheek. Mera Hayat,
mere farmabardare, Mera intizaar, mere wafa, Meri muhabbat. Sb haak, Sb haak, Sb haak. (My entity, My obedience, My wait, My troth, My love. All nought, All nought, All nought.)

I walked inside took a night dress and pulled it on my body. I threw the saree in the cupboard.

I was going to lay down on bed when my gaze drifted to the balcony doors. I pulled the covers ready to slid in but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I took a small blanket from the cupboard. I wanted to be heartless and leave him in the bitter cold but how could I? He was my husband. A body. A soul. A being. No actually just my love. It all started and ended there. I wasn't permitted by my heart to ignore him.

First, Second, Third, Fourth, Sixth, Seventh step. I was out. I felt the cold bitter air hitting my face. The moon reflected the figure laid on swing.

His head hanging from the wooden rectangular length board supported by two thick ropes at each side. The first two button of shirt popped off with tie unhinged. The cushion and Jacket lying on the ground with cigarette buds here and there. The arms also hanging down with a cigarette bud held in between fingers of right hand.

I strode forward ignoring the littered buds that my bare feet stepped on. I spread the warm blanked in my hand and leaned downward. In one swift movement. I was pulled down with his hand gripping my waist as he set upright so I was seated on his lap. He pulled the blanked around us so that I was snuggled to his firm body.

I tried to twist my body to get out of his hold. I lost. I again tried and then again and then again.

He pulled my chin upward as those honey brown eyes stared into my own.

"Kiya mere baat ni suno ge? (Won't you hear me?)

"Ni."

A flat reply something he didn't expect to hear from me.

"Aj ni. Kl ni, purso ni, usey agle din ni par kisi din to suno ge na. (Not today, not tommorow, not day after tomorrow, not next day after that but you will hear me someday.)

"Kabhi ni. Chore mujhe. (Never. Leave me.)

"No."

My eyes held his in rage. I let him see every emotion. Hurt, anger, Rage. I wanted to punish him. He didn't flinch and looked back evenly. He stood up holding me like a child.

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