Love Language

Pilot

It's hard not seeing yourself as the main character, and it's hard knowing you'll never be it. When you're a teenage girl that's trying to find her identity it's hard to do a lot of things. That is until I met him, Noah. It's weird to give him credit for a lot of things in my late teenage years. It's not hard to admit that I love him anymore. Whether it's from me being too sensitive, to him being to protective, or me hating the movie he'd chose, to him not wanting to eat the food I've made for him. It's the little things that make up the massive amount of love I have for that boy.. and it'll stay that way, forever. But all love stories don't start out romantically because ours sure didn't, in fact we hated each other. Believe me when I say it's much more different than the rest.

•••

It'll be fun they said. You'll enjoy every moment they said. No, they lied. Being a freshman in college is hard. It's my second semester and I still don't have anything figured out. I wasn't ready to go grow up in all honestly. I wish I was back home with my parents and my siblings. This is worst than high school which was a literal nightmare that felt like it would never end. I may be over exaggerating when I say I wish I was dead, but right now I wished a tornado would sweep across the dirt and blow me away with it.

It was September and the weather was chilly. I was debating whether or not I should wear short or long pants but my anemia gave me that answer. It was Friday afternoon and I was done with all my classes. I decided to go out and spend sometime to myself which I felt kind of bad about because I told my roommate Mads I was going to stay in for the night. I rolled out of my bed and headed to my wardrobe in the mid sized dorm I shared with her.

'What to wear, what to wear', I thought to myself.

I took a big appreciative to my clothes and shoes because I felt like it was one of the only ways I could express myself without talking to people. I'm a big introvert and prefer to keep to my close friends and family but I can speak up for myself at times. I decided on black skinny jeans, a white lace tank top, and a tan cardigan. I stared at my body in the mirror and smiled. When I was high school I'd been struggling with my weight for the longest. I'm so proud of myself for doing what needed to be done to feel confident about myself. Even though I look completely different I'm still extremely insecure. I just feel like there's always something wrong with my appearance and I'm not exactly sure why.

Heading to my vanity I put on some pieces of silver jewelry and left my curls to flow down to my shoulders. I looked.. average. But, pretty in my own eyes. It's hard to explain how I truly feel about myself. I feel like if I was truly pretty though, I'd get attention from the right and honest kind of boys. And by that I mean the ones that aren't cheaters or one night standers. I've only ever been in one solid relationship that lasted a few months sophomore year back in high school. People have never called me ugly so I guess it must have something to do with my personality...anyways, I slipped on my black sandals and grabbed my phone and wallet heading out the door.

Bouncing down the dorm stairs I headed out the door of my building towards my college shuttle. At my college, freshman aren't allowed to have cars on campuses. When I heard this news I was so saddened because I had just got a brand new car for my 18th birthday. And now I can only ride her when I go back home sometimes. My colleges buses aren't the worst though and I'm very humble and hate to complain so this works just fine. On the bus ride to downtown I watched as the sun peaked out from behind some fluffy plump clouds. If I had a super power I would definitely want to fly in and out of clouds just like a kid jumps in and out of bouncy houses. I sighed and closed my eyes. Time went by slow for me so to get it going by fast on this bus ride I daydreamed about my future as I do more often than not. Tonight will be nice escape and nice way for me to draw myself from toxic college life. The ride would only last 10 minutes and I was ready for these 2 hours of alone time more than anything.