With All Your Heart

11~Fear is a Liar

Josh was afraid to breathe.

The gun was aimed at his chest, the guy's hawkish eyes scanning the area. Did they see him?

Cold sweat rolled into his eyes. His heart thundered, loud in his own ears and he prayed he wouldn't be seen. Josh stayed completely still. If he was spotted, he was a dead man.

After a long, tense moment, the guy lowered his gun and joined his buddy in the small log cabin. Josh closed his eyes and his shoulders sank with relief.

Why had he followed the scary dudes with guns? It was stupid. Maybe he had more bravery than common sense, but Josh was feeling anything but brave. Every instinct he possessed screamed he was in real danger. But he could not leave. What if the poor soul in the body bag was still alive and needed help?

He wished he knew what was going on in the cabin, but he didn't dare get closer. It felt like an hour when the two men came back outside, but it was probably five minutes. Josh hoped they'd go back the way they came, but he heard them move his way. Dear God, he didn't want to die!

Fear not, for I am with you.

Without warning, they stopped and turned away from him. Josh saw the beads rolling from his chin and this time he knew they were tears. He sat in defeated silence long after the men were gone. Finally, he forced himself to move closer to the cabin wanting to check on whoever was inside.

Something held him back.

Wait on me.

"Shut up!" he growled in response to the imaginary voice.

That's right. Don't listen. Trust yourself.

Fear slithered down his spine. This new voice was different than the first one—angry. He was determined to listen to no one but his own gut. Josh stepped toward the cabin and froze. Just above the door was a camera.

He jumped back, moving out of sight. Had it caught him? He peered from behind the tree, studying the position of the camera. It was unlikely he'd been caught on tape. Josh hesitated, trying to decide his next move. He needed to check out the cabin, but wasn't ready to make his presence known. Josh had to think of the others as well.

Reluctantly, he decided to return to the beach and come back later with help. Whatever was in the cabin could wait a few hours. Besides, it would be dark soon. He made his way back to camp, hoping he had done the right thing. But he wasn't sure.

One nagging detail refused to let go of him. Why would anyone dump a body in a log cabin? The answer stopped him cold. They wouldn't.

The person in the body bag was still alive.

***

Annie stared off into the distance, watching the sinking sun.

"I'll look for him as soon as I can."

Ty's baritone rippled through her insides making her shiver. "I know. Thank you," she said with a sad smile. "It's just a bittersweet sunset, you know."

Raking a hand through his hair, Ty gave curt nod. "Yeah, I understand." He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he sank beside her. They sat in comfortable silence for a long while before he spoke again. "You can talk me. If you want to," he added, a hint of vulnerability in his voice like he didn't want to assume too much.

Annie took an unsteady breath. "I don't think I have any fruit."

One brow arched above Ty's eye, his expression puzzled. "Fruits of the spirit," she confided. "Love, joy, patience, peace, gentleness, self-control. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really saved."

"Of course you're saved." He slid his arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug. "Don't let Satan mess with your head."

"I know he does that, but there's something else."

"What's bothering you, Annie?" Ty asked gently.

"Dani thinks I'm perfect, but she's wrong. They all are. I'm an imposter." Annie cleared her throat. "I tried hard to do the right thing and stay out of trouble, but I messed up really bad."

She looked over at Ty, expecting him to ask her what she did. Then she'd have to confess, but he waited. "I've never told anyone," Annie said softly.

"Whatever it is, you are forgiven."

She tried to smile but it probably looked more like a grimace.

Ty's warm gaze held hers. "You aren't meant to be alone—like this island in the middle of nowhere. Cut off from the everything. You need the support of other believers in Christ. We all need someone to confide in."

"An island," she echoed. "That's me. Alone. Cut off."

He looked deep into her eyes, as if he could see clear to her soul. "You don't have to be. What are you afraid of?"

"People judging me. Thinking I'm a horrible person." She didn't think before she spoke. The admission seemed to be ripped straight from her heart. Once it was out, Annie felt like a weight had been lifted.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man or God?"

"Galations 1:10." Her eyes widened. "You're right. I didn't think see it before. I'm seeking the approval of man."

He reached out, touching her face lightly, his thumb brushing her cheek. Annie's breath caught. "That's why you need to trust others in Christ," he said, dropping his hand.

"Should I trust you, Ty?" she asked, hoping he didn't notice her blush.

The muscles in his throat worked as he swallowed. "I'd like you to." His eyes locked with hers. "It's not easy opening up to people."

Annie could feel the warmth of his stare. "Are you afraid people will judge you because you your past?"

"Yes. When I told everyone all I could think about was what they would think of me. What would you think about me?" He tilted his jaw, a slow smile on his lips. "Then I realized I couldn't give in to fear. I had to share the gospel and hope someone heard."

"They heard. I think you are amazing, Ty. Courageous. Godly. So much stronger in faith than I am."

He seemed uncomfortable with the praise. "It gets easier to with time—trusting God. How long have you been a believer?"

"Almost a year. After my brother's accident."

"Annie, I—" Ty stopped, his gaze focused on something behind her.

The others were suddenly talking. Someone shouted. Annie turned around and saw him just as Josh jokingly called, "Honey, I'm home!"