Chapter Thirty-Nine

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Emma's Journal Entry

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Emma's Journal Entry

February 25

Today's Assignment: Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Ten years. It's not that far away if you think about it.

When I was a kid, the idea of time felt endless when I considered the millions of activities I could squeeze into one day. Summers lasted a lifetime, and reaching double digits was an eternity away.

Now that I'm older, the reality of time is setting in. Days and weeks fly by, and before I know it, I'll be a college graduate—trapped in a job I hate, and surrounded by people who drive me insane. That's what my parents want for me. "If you study hard, maybe you'll get into a Fortune 500 company," they always say.

Like that's supposed to inspire me?! Sitting in some stuffy cubicle, crunching numbers all day?

Stef says I'm meant for more. That if I always do what my family expects I'll never reach my full potential. And she's right. I'm living a life I never wanted or asked for. A life they designed.

The time has come to make a change.

There's not a doubt in my mind that in ten years I'll be with Stef, happy and carefree, living by the standards we've created for ourselves. She sees life differently than most people I know. She's not afraid to think outside of the box and try new things. That's one of the things I love about her—her sense of freedom and adventure. She promotes openness and creativity and shuns the rigidity of middle-class society.

Here's an example: I received a package from her the other day. She told me to expect it but I just about died when it actually arrived! Not that I thought she was lying, I just can't believe she had the guts to send it!

Inside were pills. She said since I've never taken them before I should only start with one and that the effects would last for hours. And OMG—I have never felt more alive in my whole life!

It was like all of a sudden, I had zero problems and all the confidence in the world! Nothing or no one could touch me. Like I could take on an entire army and fight them off with my bare hands. My brain just opened up and all of this courage poured out, and my entire body felt super light and floaty like I wasn't even a real person. It was the craziest thing!

She said if I thought that was mind-blowing, I should see what it's like during sex. I can't even imagine! Part of me hopes it was an invitation, but the other part feels sort of jealous. Because she has to have experienced it to know what it's like, right? I mean, she told me she's not a virgin, but the idea of her with someone else makes me feel a little insane. I hate to even think about it.

But that's silly, isn't it? I know she's more experienced than I am, and for the most part, I'm happy for it. She may not be book smart, I don't know if she is I and don't care, but she's filled with the wisdom of living life. That's the only kind of knowledge that matters. She makes me feel like anything and everything is possible!

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