Sexy Plants

Well, Piper (my baby goat) had another seizure but this time her back leg was messed up for a few minutes after

So I’m currently at the ranch and I noticed our older dog Phoebe had a bleeding nose so I told my aunt and she literally could not care less

TMI WARNING…
          
          Guess who was naked and just stood up from taking a poo poo just for their cousin to slam the bathroom door wide open because there was “Steam” coming from inside the bathroom (I was about to take a shower since apparently my aunt considered me to be dirty) and then walk off? There’s a house rule where if you’re showering in my cousin and I’s bathroom you have to have the door wide open because of the steam and they don’t want it to cause moisture or whatever. So instead of my cousin doing the DECENT human thing by knocking and asking if I’m in the shower yet and then give me time to flush and get in the shower before she opens the door she instead SLAMS the door open without warning while I’m standing there in nothing but a bra… so I do what any SANE person would do and get in the shower as quick as possible before someone sees your bare behind but then she decides to come into the bathroom and complain to me about how I didn’t flush my poop… LIKE I WOULD’VE IF YOU DIDNT OPEN THE DOOR AND MAKE ME WORRY ABOUT SOMEONE SEEING ME. LIKE, IM SORRY I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO STAND THERE AND FLUSH THE TOILET WITH MY BARE ASS IN VIEW PLUS TAKE OFF A BRA AND IN GET THE SHOWER. Like be fr… anywho, sorry for the TMI lol. Wattpad is now my diary

We love when your aunt has you do the dishes after your cousin made burgers and once you’re comfortable on your bed she asks you to do the laundry but then has your cousin stop you before you’re able to do it and ask when the last time you showered was, to which you answer “Yesterday” and she then responds with “Well my mom doesn’t want you to do the laundry in dirty clothes” even though I have on new clothes today so I now have to take another shower and wash my hair two days in a row and THEN do the laundry

WAITING ROOM IS BACK ON SPOTIFY!!!!!

Now onto this morning. This morning I didn’t feel good and tried to sleep it off until I decided to go into the bathroom and sit next to the toilet. Well my aunt comes in and starts yelling at me asking me what I’m doing and I said “I don’t feel good” and she starts yelling again asking “have you been eating?!” And my dumb self thought she meant have I eaten breakfast and I said “No, I didn’t feel like eating because I don’t feel good” and she starts yelling once again saying “WELL I WOULDN’T FEEL GOOD EITHER IF I HAVEN’T EATEN IN A FEW DAYS” like what? I assure you miss ma’am that I am NOT starving myself. Hell!! While you’re at work I’m ordering 3 soft tacos and 2 extra large pinto and beans from taco belle and a large pineapple lemonade and 10 chicken nuggets from Wendy’s as one meal!! All through DoorDash of course which I’m not allowed to use as she wants me to save my money so she doesn’t know about my daily door dashing (which by the way, the meal I just described was an actual meal I ate last week lmao) like I am NOT starving myself. Anywho, she then proceeded to try and force me to eat a bunch of food as she thinks I’m not eating AND our refrigerator and freezer went out so I was trying to force myself to eat an entire jar of apple sauce which just made me want to gag and made my mouth dry. Anywho, my yesterday, last night, and this morning have been extremely interesting. What about yall?

Last night I had a dream in a dream. The guy I was engaged to and I broke up the day after we got engaged because I found out he was doing drugs. My family never found out I was ever engaged. I stopped speaking to him all together actually. Well last night I dreamt that I was in Houston on vacation with my family (the city name was never mentioned, I just had a feeling it was Houston) (keep in mind I was in Houston when I met him, when I got engaged to him, and when I broke it off and stopped talking to him) and he and I secretly got married but I was supposed to go back to where my family and I were staying and I freaked out and had a panic attack. We stopped at a veterinarian clinic and I kept sobbing and screaming “I DON’T WANT THIS!!” Over and over again. At that point I was on the ground trying to get away from him (the guy) keep in mind he didn’t nothing wrong to me in the dream. My aunt showed up at the vet clinic to get a bag of dog treats or something and saw me and the vet lady said “Moms here” in a gentle tone. I kept repeating to my aunt “I don’t want this” while sobbing. He was on the ground at this point too but across the room. We were both distraught and had our knees to our chests. I forced him into a divorce while we were there and my aunt then took me back to where we were staying. That’s when I woke up to dream number 2. I acknowledged the previous dream was just a dream and I thought I woke up from that dream. Well I went to tell my aunt about the dream but then I found out the guy unalived himself that same night I had the dream and I was showed the news paper that talked about it and showed his pictures (keep in mind in real life we don’t get newspapers delivered to our house) and then it went into a new POV where I was experiencing the memories of the pictures. All of which took place at a carnival or fair. Any idea of what this means?

Yesterday night I was really struggling with my mental health so I called my sister and I went into detail about what I was dealing with but instead she kept interrupting me trying to make it seem relatable, making things about her, and then brought up my abuser to blame me for something I had permission to take. I told her I had permission to take it (family portrait) and she put me on mute and then turned away to talk to someone else, I kept saying I’m on mute and she then turned back and unmuted me and said “I have to leave” and I asked why and she said “Family emergency” as if her little sister struggling with her mental health isn’t an emergency

Day 1,973 of me trying to figure out if I’m a narcissist who makes up scenarios in my head and creates false memories and plays myself as the victim in everything or if I’m just a mentally ill abuse victim and survivor who was gaslit so much that I now gaslight myself into doubting my own memories, perspective, and feelings

We LOVE when our aunt throws away our childhood artwork AND your travel bag that has your name monogrammed into it!! I called her out and said “Don’t you keep Carleigh’s childhood artwork?” And she said yes and then continued to say she kept my ceramic orange pumpkin and ceramic purple elephant which I had to correct her THAT I MADE THOSE MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGHSCHOOL… which she responded “well they look like you made them when you were 2” and I’m not allowed to bring MY belongings back into my room… SHE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME OR ASK ME IF SHE COULD THROW THEM AWAY!!!!