If I'm not on Wattpad, check your freezer. 

Nope. Too late I ate all your ice cream.

Did you know birds technically don't exist because they are descended from dinosaurs? So technically dinosaurs are not extinct.

Walking into doors is not smart.

DID YOU SEE MY STORIES??!

GO ALONG NOW!! READ THE STUFF I WROTE!!

Just remember that your unique. Just like everyone else.

Perfect has 7 letters.
So does Foooood.
Coincidence? I think not.

I hate it when you buy organic vegetables, but then when you get home you discover they're just regular donuts.

DID I MENTION ABOUT MY STORIES??

That moment when you gain 10 pounds for a role and you realize you're not even an actress.

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

The early bird can have the worm cause worms are gross and mornings are stupid.

With great power comes great electricity bill.

HEY YOU SHOULD READ MY WORKS

Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow.

I'm going to be outside standing, so if anyone asks, I'm outstanding.

When you're wearing Nike and you just can't.

3 out of the 4 voices in my head wonder when I can go to sleep. The other one wonders if penguins have knees.

'Why read the book when you can watch the movie?'
Is like saying :
'Why breath air when you're gonna die anyway?'

The person who invented YOLO has obviously never died before.

If good things happen to those who wait, what happens to people who wait tooooo long...? Revised saying: Death comes to those who wait too long.

1.Ur human
2. Ur reading this
3.U can't say the letter P without separating ur lips
4.U just attempted to do it
6.Ur laughing at yourself
7.U have a smile one ur face,and u skipped #5
8.U just checked to see if there's a #5
9.Ur laughing at this because ur so silly
10.You are going to repost this


Death comes to us all.



DID YOU READ MY STORIES YET????





PS

CONSTANT VIGILANCE
  • Under your dusty-ass bed.
  • JoinedDecember 12, 2018


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Stories by FlabbergastedBanana
Tag Ed by FlabbergastedBanana
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I wrote this for kicks. It was fun to write. Short little cracky one shot
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The Slave by FlabbergastedBanana
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Bill was hauled forward, chains dragging behind him. "You have failed, Bill Cipher." Bill doesn't...