@ScienceFiction If I had to choose between them, I would be more likely to choose the first (kind & intelligent) as I believe everyone needs a reminder sometimes that those around them are people, too. We're all trying our best, and sometimes that clashes or looks odd from the outside, but there's always a reason, and the more often we can extend understanding, empathy, or simple curiosity first, instead of annoyance, offense, or righteous anger, the better the world will be.
What I'm *most* likely to do in a story with aliens, of course, strays from this particular template, as I would simply make them people, with all the intricacies and complications that come with that, but that's not quite the question.