Listen to the Water | FULL SERIES | Wattys 2022 Shortlist | ✔

(40) To Make Amends

My parents don't have many questions when I finally conclude the story with my arrival: feeling the vibrations of Telu's sun-dance through the water and finding my village sheltered around the farthest island in the chain. I realize I've probably lost them on the vibration patterns part, too. It's become so natural for me to read the water, I forget that my people aren't quite so attuned yet. Like I did, most Rashi-blessed among them have tried and failed to read speech in the water's shivers, but the survival value of the new extra sense has yet to truly dawn on them.

I don't realize how much this storytelling has exhausted me until I finally lower my hands. It hits me like a wall, then, making me slump back against the rocks in a sudden and intense desire not to get up or do anything but wallow in my own thoughts for the rest of the day. My parents look the same. We sit together wordlessly until they both acknowledge that they're getting hungry. I want to join them as they leave to search for food, or go in their stead, but I suspect they need the space to talk alone.

I'm also just tired. I've been crashing hard after everything that's happened in the last moon, I think, and it hasn't run its course yet. I'm ready to retreat to my bed when a hand taps my shoulder. I startle hard. It's Taiki. He looks like he's just woken up, and there's a faintly distant, distracted edge to his expression that I don't think has to do with his usual zoning out.

"I need to go out for a bit," his hands murmur. "Can you come?"

Tiredness slips away again. That's an unusual ask for him... I don't think I've ever seen him seek out another person before taking off into the water. "Sure," I sign.

"Thank you."

I pause him as he moves towards the exit. Grabbing a loose stone, I scratch a note on the wall so my parents know where we went. I know they'll worry, but I also know they shouldn't have to. The more I process everything that's happened in the last moon, the more I realize Taiki and I between us aren't actually that easy to kill. He's not in a right state of mind right now, but he's also alert enough to tell me apart from one of the long-ago children, so that's progress.

Taiki waits for me to finish writing, another improvement over the last few days. I hope this means he's finally coming back to himself. He stays close, checking that I'm still with him as he takes us some ways out from the village. Out of earshot, I realize. Or vibration range; I've now confirmed through conversation with other villagers that both travel much further underwater than on land.

Taiki starts poking into cracks in the rock, looking for one big enough to hide us. When he finds it, he beckons me inside, then turns to face me. "I have a song... I don't know if I can make it all the way through right now, but I need to try. Can you hold onto me?"

I nod. Taiki puts out his hands, and we grip each other's forearms, steadying him as he closes his eyes and begins singing softly.

I recognize it immediately as a variant of the healing song. It's been altered, though, enough that if not for a few familiar snatches of rhythm and the tint of honey in the water, I probably wouldn't have known it. But Taiki's not using it on me. Is he singing for himself? Is he hurt? Sick, somehow?

I don't understand, but as heartbeats tick by, I begin to feel the toll it's taking on him. That's really what I'm here for. I tighten my grip on his arms the first time he sways. He only gets shakier from there, and I sit us both down. Face pinched in concentration, Taiki manages to keep up the song, until it reaches what feels like a natural close. He nearly tips forwards into my arms. I guide him back to lie against the rocks, then sit beside him. He signs a ghost of a thanks.

"What was that for?" I ask when I see him open his eyes again.

"I was born female," he murmurs. "But that didn't work, so we found a way to fix it. It just takes a bit of effort."