chapter thirty-three

526 56 2
                                    


Perched on the chair beside Miriam's bed, Yael listened to the machines, thankful for every beep, but at the same time, each one left her a little emptier

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Perched on the chair beside Miriam's bed, Yael listened to the machines, thankful for every beep, but at the same time, each one left her a little emptier. Sorrow filled her heart, making it impossible to think of anything other than losing this amazing woman. She'd been here since the odd encounter with Peter the night before, dozing fitfully in the uncomfortable seat. Though her grandmother had slept the entire time, Yael treasured the hours, unable to stop the guilt shrouding her. If only she'd stayed in New York after 9/11, they would've had plenty of moments together. On the other hand, they might not have found the open honesty they now shared.

Casey sat in the corner typing furiously on his laptop. Initially, she thought it was weird for him to be there so often, but watching him and Miriam interact made it impossible to deny their bond. He'd been around for Miriam when no one else was. She would forever be grateful for that. Plus, Yael loved having him near. Even silent, he made the unbearable easier.

"Yael," her grandmother wheezed, pulling the oxygen mask from her face.

She leaned forward. "I'm here. Try not to talk. Rest."

"Be resting soon enough." Miriam's laugh was dry, void of life. "Want to talk to you alone. Then you and Casey together."

Yael glanced at Casey, and he nodded before exiting the room.

"I hope you're not thinking of saying goodbye." Already her throat constricted and her eyes grew moist.

"Don't fall apart ... on me. I have things to say."

Yael took a few moments to pull her emotions together. Miriam was right. She had to be strong.

"Much better." Her grandmother sucked a deep breath through the mask, then moved it out of the way. "I'm thankful for the time we have spent together. True happiness at the end."

"I should have come sooner," Yael said in a low, shame-filled voice.

"Don't." Miriam's tone was full of conviction, and it startled her. "If you hadn't been through the experiences you have, you wouldn't be the amazing woman I see."

Yael couldn't stop the tear slipping down her cheek.

Her grandmother continued, "Learn to recognize it in yourself. You are not your past. You've done nothing to be ashamed of. I am ... proud of you."

"Thank you." Yael wiped at her eyes. "It means the world to hear you say that. Part of why I'm doing so well is because you had faith in me, you challenged me, regardless of my mistakes."

"Nonsense. Only pushed because you needed it." She coughed, covering her mouth with a tissue. When she pulled it away, Yael caught sight of blood and her veins turned to ice. "Tell me. Honestly. What do you want for your future?"

Yael had every intention of saying she saw herself at Malkah Enterprises as expected, but the words stalled on her tongue.

"That's what I thought." A small smile tipped Miriam's lips. "Does working for the company bring you joy? As much as baking?"

Survivor's GuiltWhere stories live. Discover now