12: Wishes

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Gavin

"Should we run for our lives?" Lester whispered to Casper. What's the point of whispering if I could hear them?

"He's probably gonna kill us," Casper whispered back.

"Just help me get him out of the trunk and into the back seat, will you idiots?" I snapped at both of them. What was Madeline even thinking? She knew I was getting closer to Zane, and she know he went through shit enough as is. God, I was furious. As if the xenophobia, racism, and homophobia wasn't enough.

She was my best friend, but deep down, I felt like I would've killed her if I knew she was going to even touch Zane. How was I so stupid? I should've known she didn't invite him just for the sake of being nice; Madeline was never randomly nice. And now that I thought about it, she hated him for some reason.
It was like everything was being played in my head. How she used to glare at him all the time like he killed her family or something.

Lester and I picked Zane up and Casper opened the back door wide as we slid him into the rear of the car.

I quickly took off my jacket and wrapped it around him, and told Casper to turn on the heater.

"So, what do we do know?" Casper asked after squeezing in next to Zane, with the latter's legs over his lap.

"I'm taking you and Lester home," I said as I turned on the car.

"And what about him?" Lester asked from beside me.

I didn't have an answer for that. I usually didn't have trouble figuring out the next step. I couldn't take him back to the party without causing a fuss and getting too much attention, and I couldn't take him back to his house like that. It was too risky. His drink was definitely spiked, and I didn't know his parents' stance on alcohol. I didn't know if he even drank or not, and it could be such a bad thing. How fucking stupid was Madeline?

I didn't answer and just took the first turn back uptown. Lester's house was first. He said goodnight and wished us luck with our mess and went inside. I wished my night could end that easily.

I expected the ride with Casper to be as silent as it was with Lest, but Casper had a different idea.

"I know you like him," He said unexpectedly. I had no clue where Casper stood regarding that. What if he was right and I did like Zane the way he meant. I wasn't sure I was ready to admit it aloud to myself, or to anyone else for that matter.

I looked at him in my rear-view mirror for a second and returned my vision to the road.

"What do you mean?" I knew exactly what he meant but I needed to hear it from someone else other than my stupid heart.

"You know you do. I see the way you look at him when you think no one is looking. It's pretty obvious that you like him." He took a deep breath. "I mean you're into him, more than just a casual liking," I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

"What way? I look at everyone in the same way,"

"Not at him. You take longer to get your eyes off him. And just you get lost for a little bit," our eyes met briefly in the mirror, and I looked away immediately. "I observe a lot, Gav. I may be always occupied with Kent Sinclair being annoying, but I do pay attention to what you do and feel."

I tried to interrupt him but he wasn't going to let me say anything before he was finished. Thankfully, it wasn't going to be long because we were around five minutes away.
"Gavin, you can tell when someone's mind goes somewhere else, and that's what happens when you guys see each other. But then you get that look of regret and guilt and then you just get angry for no reason. At first, I thought you get angry at him but later I realized that you get angry at yourself. It's okay to like a boy, you know that right?"

"It's not that-"

"Then what? Why do you push him out and push everyone out when it comes to love?" He sighed. "I may have not known you for a long time, but you've done it a couple of times already,"

"Just drop it. Please." I was going to break if he didn't stop.

I pulled over and he was ready to leave the car. "Just so you know, even though you annoy him most of the time at school, he looks at you the same way." He said before leaving me to my thoughts.

For about five minutes, I did nothing. I just rested my head on the steering wheel and felt numb. I wasn't even going to budge. I was just going to stay here in the car until everything is miraculously solved on its own. It was not my problem, was it?

Interrupting my thoughts was a shiver, followed by incoherent mumbling.

"I'm C-c-cold," Zane stuttered from the back seat. My heart wasn't supposed to stutter with his speech. Not one bit. But it did. Whether I liked it or not, it did.

He didn't seem to be conscious, so I decided to do what I thought was best. He was not gonna like it. He was probably gonna freak out, but I decided that taking him to my house was my safest bet.

He was shivering all the way there, even with the heater on. I stopped the car on the side of the road and huffed in aggravation as I climbed to the back seat.

What do I do?

I squeezed in by his side and I almost fell twice from the seat. I finally managed to steady myself and hugged him close to my body, in hopes that my body heat warms him a bit.

I didn't expect him to cling to me this tightly. He clutched me like he was about to drown and I was the last safety vest.

We stayed like that for a while, and his shivering gradually diminished.

When he loosened his grip and fell back to a restful sleep, I climbed back and started the car again. I wished I could just lay with him that way for a little longer. I wished he was okay. I wished he'd cling to me that way when he knew it was me.

When I was there, I slowly pulled him out and carried him inside. I tried to be as quite as possible, not to wake anyone up and cause myself trouble that I didn't need. It worked.

I got into my room without letting out any sound or dropping any vase from the ones that decorated our hallway. I lay him on my bed and took off the jacket so he could sleep comfortably. He grunted and stirred a little but he didn't wake up. I covered him up with a thick blanket and sat in the armchair next to my bed under the window I made sure the window was closed properly and same with the door. A part of me wanted to sleep next to him, hold him close like I did in the car, to feel his body against mine, but the other part of me had a very strong hunch that if he woke up with me next to him, he'd probably kill me.

We went through a lot tonight, but I had to remind myself that he was unconscious for all of it. A one-sided adventure.
I closed the curtains, made sure he was tucked in well, changed into a more comfortable fit, and nested myself into the armchair. It wasn't comfortable at all, but I was too tired for comfort. I was gone in seconds.

A/N: what's up guys, I hope you liked the chapter. More to come soon x.

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