"I am a Liar" (3)

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⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️

Swearing


~~~

Dream SMP set

(Most of these do not happen in the real Dream SMP!)



Philzas POV (1st person)


Wilbur has officially been dead for 2 months now.

You could consider it a break away from all the chaos, but things continue.

I wander around the SMP,
No crows around bicker me or to talk to. Just me, myself, and I.

And thoughts.

Everyone thinks, especially about this cruel world.

No one to trust, no one to rely on, but I can trust Techno.
Been by my side since day 1.

And now I'm wandering through the place my 'son' blew up.

To be fair, this place looks really beautiful.

It's blown up, but it's being rebuilt. I heard that Tubbo took up this position.
Over the explosion were homes, buildings.

It was to completely forget that a full massacre happened here.

How Sickening.

I walked through the place that's still under construction.

Beneath me was all the destruction below. In my imagination, a lovely lake can be filled here, I could bathe in my enemy's blood.

I laughed at that thought, my heart turned cold.

That's when I saw it.

The room where it happened.

It was barricaded, however, my pick-ax easily broke through.

I was surprised, I thought they destroyed this room, but they kept it. Even fixed it. Why?

I walk down the eerie hallway, I know nobody would be there, but it felt so weird to not be so calm.

And then I finally entered the room itself.

The scrawny writing on the walls, Wilbur's anthem for L'manburg.
And in the center the button that Wilbur had pressed.

I acknowledged the room, scratches, marks of someone punching the walls.
This place is history itself.

No one else was in this room, except me and Wilbur.

I feel myself become suddenly emotional.

This was the place where he built his motivation and pride.
But also;

The place I killed him.

The place I killed Wilbur.

I could've stopped him.

I could've told him everything before he became this.

I could've helped him.

I could've taken care of him properly and restarted everything.

But I didn't.

I'm a dirty bastard.

My last words to him were;
"I am proud of you."

The biggest lie I have ever told, yet what I wanted to be genuine.

I am a failure.

I failed to be a father.
I'm moping around something that can't be undone.

I am a liar.

I lie to myself. I can accept that. But I can change it, but I lost all motivation.

I felt something run against my cheek.

"..a tear."
I said this softly, smiling gently and staring at that button.

That fucking button.

I didn't even realize the seat that was in the middle of all of this.
Probably where Wilbur sat where he contemplated life, or what he should do.

I sat down and stared at the button.

I covered my face with my hands.

The Philza Minecraft.

Is now crying.

How embarrassing, how unpredictable. How despicable.

"..Phil..?"
I shot up from the seat, sword in hand.

"..Techno?"
I whispered out, withdrawing my sword and looking at him.

Techno glanced at me, then at the room.

"Phil..why are you here?"
An innocent question, but it made me scream internally.

"..nothing mate. But are you ok? Your eyes.."
I was right to say that.

Techno had red eyes, well his pupils are indeed red, however, I know he has been crying.
Possibly something related to what I was thinking about.

"Heh..."
Techno drifted off from that, walking beside Me and sitting down on the ground beside him. Staring at the button.

I sat back down as well.

"..what was Wilbur like before he..you know."
Techno perked up, I gave him a mysterious look.

"..he looked.."
I clicked the tongue,

"..happy.."

"Happy?"

"Happy. Happy yet sad...I know he was sad..but he was smiling when I.."
I didn't want to finish.

It's too painful.

I regret it all.

"..Hm.."
Techno hummed, looking around the room then back at the button.

"Phil, if he were here..what would you say to him..?"
Techno asked, I gave him a small yet sad chuckle.

Fuck the tears are coming back.

"..I would..tell that I love him. That he is my son.."
I looked at Techno who looked at me back, tears also in his eyes.

I felt a small breeze hit against both of us.
I shivered in response.
But a felt a familiar presence.

I know myself too well.

.

.

.

I am a liar.

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