Not a Fan (Wilbur Soot)

Honey

She decided to go with casual. She was also clearly influenced by their first encounter, she painted him after all. She stared at her phone, waiting for the delivered to turn into read. Minutes passed, her tea grew cold, and her headache grew stronger. He still hadn't opened it. 

Aurora sighed, sliding her phone into her pocket as she finally stood from the window ledge. She should really paint, use her new found emotions as inspiration. Aurora stared longingly at her easel, wishing for any brilliant ideas to come to mind. 

The only thing she wanted to see was something she could never paint. She just wanted to see herself the way Wilbur did. She wanted to recognize the faint smile he saw on her resting face, the way her eyes glowed like honey, how her hair fell gracefully. 

Damn it, why won't he text her back? 

Aurora lifted her completed painting from the other night off the stand, setting it in her window where the portrait of Wilbur once resided. She packed up all her paints and supplies, knowing they would just get in the way when her furniture arrived. It's not like she was going to paint tonight anyway. 

It was already getting late, at least late enough for a sick person to convince themselves it was okay to fall asleep. She grabbed her lone roll of paper towels to use as tissues before making her way upstairs. Hopefully this was just a 24 hours cold and she would be better by morning. 

Aurora pulled out her phone, pretending to not be disappointed as her lock screen lacked any notifications from Wilbur, setting her usual series of alarms starting at 6:30am. 

Falling back into her bed, she stared at the ceiling fan, analyzing ever speck of dirt she could see lining the blades. 

Buy curtains, dust the fan, stop caring so much about when he texts me back. 

She thought, forcing her eyes closed. 

Her dreams were hazy, a blur of memories from trips she once took in undergrad. She found herself searching for Wilbur, seeing the green of his voice appear occasionally. She walked along the beach with Niki and a few others. She continually turned around, confused each time he failed to materialize behind her. 

Aurora woke before her alarm even went off, her blank home screen reading 6:06am. She felt fully awake, less sick and groggy, and definitely not tired enough to stay in bed. She scrolled her phone after turning off all her unnecessary alarms. 

She had made the decision not to redownload the social media apps she had deactivated months prior. Instead, she found comfort in rereading her messages from Wilbur the night before. Her last message was still on delivered. 

Before her comfort turned to disappointment, Aurora locked her phone, discarding it into the blankets as she stood and stretched. She had picked up a generic brand of mascara and eyeliner from the store during her last impromptu trip. Now that she had the extra time, today would be the perfect day to practice wearing makeup again. 

"You can do this. It's just muscle memory." Aurora spoke to herself. 

She had been out of the shower for nearly twenty minutes, still only wrapped in a towel, stopping and starting the process of beginning eyeliner. Her reflection in the foggy mirror looked defeated even though she had yet to make a single stroke. She had no problem painting or playing the guitar, why would something as simple as eyeliner be her downfall?

Her shaky hand lifted the felt black tip to her eye. She took a deep breath, taking the plunge of starting. She created a thin but bumpy line across her lid, instantly dropping her hand to her side. She had a habit of becoming quickly discouraged when she didn't pick something up quickly.