June 10th 2015
Dear Journal,
I've shut myself off for a while. I told Brad I needed some time alone. He understands. Well ... he says he does. But how can he? It's too much. It's too much for him to deal with. It's not fair to him. God, none of this is fair.
I've been reading. Stories I'd forgotten. Stories I could never forget. Long and short. Anything to get lost. Anything to exist someplace else.
I've also started researching suicide. I want to understand it and uncover why this happened. I haven't found any answers though. I keep thinking that I'll open a book and right there on the first page will be an explanation as to why Hannah did it. I keep thinking there is an answer out there hidden within some library, and it's just waiting for me to discover it.
I once told Brad that books choose the people they want to exist inside of. I wish the right one would choose me.
Maybe you are the right one. The pages of my memories. The book of my life. Maybe you have all of the answers I need. What would I do without you? If I lost you, where would all of the thoughts go?
You're my sanctuary. The place where Hannah never dies. I can go back and look through you and see Hannah still living. I can see my conversations with her. I can relive our moments together.
No. It's more than that. More than a memory. More than a reflection. It's her. My Hannah. Here at my fingertips. Here in my hands. Right in front of me.
It's weird, but I swear if I close my eyes tight enough, sometimes I can almost see her ...
YOU ARE READING
Amber
Teen FictionThe Austins moved to Oak Creek Indiana to escape reminders of a family tragedy. To forget their past. For the first time in her sixteen years, Hailey Austin is without a sibling. Haunted by the memory of a sister she can never recover and a death sh...
