❁an awkward, shy guy

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❁an awkward, shy guy

            Another night, another sleepless John sat on the settee near the window. Forgive me. She had said. And he had said nothing.

            He wanted to ask her: "For what? You never did anything wrong."

When John was young, he and Metilda had these idealistic views on marriage. They knew it was going be hard but they didn't know it was going to be this hard. Marriage for him was always about himself, his pleasure, his sorrows, his happiness but marriage is everything other than yourself. He realized it now. Marriage was about her happiness, her sorrows, and her pain. A successful marriage places the importance of the significant over oneself.

            Thoughts like these made John's head hurt. If life could only be simpler.

He'll be more careful with Jannet. He'll make it about her, not himself.

             But what about Metilda? Why couldn't he make it work with her?

Because all Metilda reminded him was the darkness in life, the arguments, unsaid words, mistakes, frustrations, and the screams.

He wanted to be in the light and Jannet was his light.

❁❁❁

It was a lazy weekend and the day of the sixth kiss. Metilda ran the comb through her wet tresses. She stood by the door of the back porch. Wind softly rustling through her hair. The sunflowers shining in the morning sunlight. She usually woke Louis up by ten but it was ten-thirty right now and the poor child could use some rest. Schools these days tire the life out of children.

She wondered how John was getting ready, considering both his arms were sprained. She at-least expected a call for help from him. Maybe not, after all she had poured salt over some old wounds.

            She laughed to herself. Of course, he wouldn't forgive her. He was one stubborn man. He could tell her that he still loved her yet he couldn't forgive her. And they said women are complicated, well then men are confusing asses.

            ❁❁❁

            John was getting ready to take a shower. It was ten o'clock and he never woke up this late. The lack of sleep in the previous nights must be catching up to him. There was one thing John hated and it was being asleep past the rise of the sun.

            He stripped out of his office clothes, it seems like he had fallen asleep in them. His arms pained a bit as he lifted the shirt above his head. The joints of his elbows screamed with pain when he reached out of the toothbrush. He had to bite down on his lips to prevent himself from screaming.

            Before stepping into the shower, he turned on the radio box. It was a strange habit he had, of listening to music while he showered. He has specifically gotten the radio box installed in bathroom for this reason.

            "Welcome to 95.7 FM where we'll be playing the new release by MAGIC! Ladies and Gentlemen hold your breaths because this song will literally take your breath away."

            He was about to turn on the tap when he remembered he couldn't get his bandages wet. He went back and shuffled through the cabinets, looking for something to cover his arms with. After searching for ten minutes, he found these arm length gloves Metilda used for waxing the bathroom tiles.

 Pulling them on, he stepped back in. Steam engulfed him. The water was extremely hot, just the way he liked it. John felt the soreness from yesterday leaving his muscles. He turned his attention to the song playing.

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