winning her back (Sample)

3

"You look rather exhausted," Alessa noted later that night as she took in Neil's tense shoulders and jaw. His eyes were shadowed with a hint of bags underneath them. Still, that didn't detract from his classic good looks.

"It was a trying day." Her fiancé acknowledged as he gave her a tired smile and his shoulders relaxed a bit.

Alessa handed him a glass of the scotch she knew he liked. She'd already taken his jacket and he'd loosened his tie to reveal the column of his neck and its tanned skin. He really was a gorgeous man. He had light blonde hair that was slightly mused now that it was the end of the day.

His jaw was defined despite not being square as was fashionable. It was decisive, leading to a chin that confirmed his stubborn will. He had a decidedly Grecian nose, which her mother had remarked on, and firm lips that any woman would love to kiss.

His eyes though were his best feature. They were a clear blue, deep like the Aegean sea on a bright summer day. They were eyes that a woman could get lost in. Deep and framed by the longest lashes ever.

Why couldn't she feel something for him?

He thanked her with another smile. Alessa walked around him to stand behind the seat he was in. As her hands settled on his shoulders, he tensed even more. "Relax," she told him with a slight laugh. "I'm just going to give you a massage."

Even as she laughed, a part of her was disconcerted by his reaction to her touch. Was her mother right? Was she making a mistake? They had an agreement and it was inevitable that they'd have to have sex. If he didn't want her touch how would that go? Her heart sank, it wasn't like she craved his touch but for him to act almost repulsed by her touch was galling.

With the calm veneer that her upbringing had instilled in her, she kept her face serene as she dug into his tense shoulders. None of this was turning out the way it was supposed to be. She and Neil had been good friends before they decided to get married. It was supposed to be a logical step for people who didn't believe in the fairy tale of love. People who knew in their circles marriage was til death.

Should they discuss calling off the wedding?

Unfortunately, the wedding was in a month's time and she didn't have time to dwell on her doubts, neither one of them did. Though the question remained, did she really want to spend the rest of her life with a man who didn't desire her, one who might never desire her?

Then again desire had its own downfalls, she should know. After years of brushing it aside, of pretending it hadn't happened her mind went back to the first day of what would be the beginning of her heartbreak. Maybe it was her mother telling her that marrying Neil would be an even bigger mistake, or maybe she was already having cold feet.

Whatever the case, Alessa found herself unable to voice her concerns. Something had changed in her relationship with Neil. There was a chasm that had never been there, a reserve that held her back from trying to talk about their deal. Was he regretting their mutual decision?

After the massage, they sat at her dining table and ate the meal she'd had delivered whilst talking about their days. It had been something they'd enthusiastically done mere months ago but today it felt like it was an automatic thing they were going through, empty. Alessa felt like she'd been living in a daze and she'd suddenly woken up to realise everything was a lie.

It was like all the things she'd enjoyed with Neil had been sucked out and all that remained were two strangers caught in a net of their own making. This marriage might have worked if they'd maintained their friendship but even that was awkward. They could no longer talk as freely as they had, their conversations were painful.