Love After Life

April

April

Spring Break, 2015

For most people, spring break is about seeking warmth in another place. Usually they go to sunny Florida or beachy Cancun. Californians have never experienced that problem, though, because the sun and beaches are already here. People still use this week off of school as a reason to go out of the country. Corrine, the bubbly blond, had jetted off to Paris last weekend. I am serious, legitly serious. I'm sure she's enjoying crepes while staring up at the Eiffel Tower, or she is spending a fortune on fancy designer shoes.

I'm sure that I could rent out a small bungalow in Honolulu for the whole summer with the amount of cash that she is wasting on a pair of shoes. Anyways, so yeah, a lot of my peers at UCLA use their parent's trust fund (or their own) to go to some exotic, tropical 5 star resort in Prague or similar destinations. I, on the other hand, have not been out of the country (unless you count Canada) because we typically stayed home and watched movie marathons on ABC Family during spring break.

Nothing says vacation like a rerun of all of the Star Wars movies (new and old) and a large supply of popcorn balls. If we were good, our grandma would take us out to go somewhere. It was nothing big, just roller skating or bowling. It was the norm, so we thought nothing of it, but now I hate the idea of being away from Carter for a week.

He is one of those spring breakers. Carter mentioned that his father is forcing him to go to the Cayman Islands or was it Bora Bora. Yeah, he is being forced to go on a exquisite vacation that I would die to go on. His reasons to not go were simple, he said: he didn't want to be away from me. My heart leapt and my stomach got butterflies and all that romantic crap, but the realist inside of me reminded me that it was only a week. It wouldn't kill him to be away for a week, so I told him to go anyways, to think of me while having fun.

I would be here all week, all by myself. My father said that it wasn't worth it for me to come home for just a week. He said that I should go hang out with some friends. I thought about that, and decided that Corinne and I weren't best friends, so it would be pretty impolite of me to invite myself along on her trip to the city of lights. And as for Danielle, I didn't want to spend the week bar hopping in Downtown Los Angeles. Sid is probably going to be spending this week braiding his hippie hair and writing poetry. Yes, I am being stereotypical but, come on, he's a modern hippie not a hipster, hippie: the hair-flowing, no-worries, peace for all kind of people.

A knock sounds at the door. I get up from my comfy position on my bed and to go open it. An out of breath, Carter appears. He is bent at the waist, with his hands on his knees, gasping for breath. I put one hand on my hip and the other on the side of the door frame, as if I am blocking him from entering. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on a plane right now?" I raise my eyebrow. "And why are you breathing like you just ran a marathon?"

"I..." He pauses to take a deep breath and then he continues," I made a mistake. I knew it wasn't right to go on a vacation....away from you, so I told my parents no and I cabbed it back to the campus. I ran two miles from the main campus to your dorm building."

"So you're not going?" I ask.

"Yes." Carter says it like it is the simplest thing in the world.

"B-but, you can't give up your spring break for me. Besides, you're only gone for like eight days." I reason.

"Col, I'd rather be here than spend eight days without you."

"Are we going to be one of those clingy couples?"

Carter lightly pushes past me and makes his way into the room. He sits down on my desk chair and grabs my hand, pulling me in between his legs. "I couldn't leave you here alone, not again. Not after we just got together."

I hold up my hand to tell him to stop. "Remember, I was the one to walk away. Twice!"

Carter sighs. "But I could've fought harder for you, I should've seen that you were upset."

I cup his face in my hands and stare into his eyes. Eyes that are more beautiful than any piece of artwork could ever be. "It would've been okay if you went. I'm used to being alone. It's not that bad it's just...lonely."

"You're dad wouldn't even come here to pick you up. He didn't even want to see you, I couldn't leave you alone. What kind of person does that? Beats his kids, and shuts them out. Why do we have shitty people as our parents?" Carter says, while rubbing his thumb in tiny circles on the inside of my wrist. He's comforting me, well trying to at least. Carter is trying to provide me with the kind of loving that I never felt as a kid.

"I don't know. We can't choose our families, that's why the people we choose to love are our chosen families."

"You're so smart." Carter says, compliments me.

I shrug. "I just know things. The most damaged people tend to be the wisest of us all."

"Well, anyhow, you don't deserve to be alone, so that is why we are having our own mini vacation." Carter wraps his arms around my waist.

"On campus?" I ask.

"What? No! We are going to stay in one of my families' vacation homes. You better pack because we are going to Maui." Carter says, enthusiastically. You know that you're boyfriend's family is loaded when he says that he has not one but multiple vacation homes.

"Really?!"

"Yes." I smile at him. Carter lifts his hand and tucks a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. His thumb trails down the side of my face. Last September, if you were to tell me that I would date and fall in love with a condescending and mostly narcissistic jock named Carter Holmes, I would tell you that you are crazy, but now (almost nine months later) it is hard to envision my life without him in it. He consumes my every thought. I miss him even after seeing him for a whole day. He's the person that I want to tell everything to. I want to talk to him, to be with him.

Loving him, has made me see new things in life. Carter is a light in a pitch black room. I want to wake up knowing that I have him standing behind me, beside me, and always with me. I know that the odds of couples our age lasting are indefinite, but I want to prove statistics and reality wrong. I want a forever. I'm not saying that I want a perfect love, there's no such thing. I want a love that requires sacrifices, effort, and chances. I am optimistic about this all. Love is like skydiving or bungee jumping, it might seem scary at first, but once you take the plunge the thrill sets in, leaving you wanting more. Well, you needn't be afraid of the future because it offers amazing and promising things. After all, love makes us fools.