Suicide Sadie

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By pancakes

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

Time will always move forward regardless of what's happening in the world around you, I experienced that first hand, but sometimes it felt like time has purposely held back at the most painful moments and slowly dragged its hands around the circular frame so I would indulge in the taste of misery, the lack of passion and happiness my life once had. I float endlessly around this imaginary setting, trying to grasp myself back into reality, it's all lost now, all I can do is protect, protect the ones who are being affected just like me, to prevent their lives from ending just as mine did.. But for now I'll tell you the story of my life, important moments that meant something to me regardless if it was good or bad..

I was born in Salisbury, England on October 21st with my mother, Marie Bennett and father, Arther Bennett and I was bestowed the name Sadie Marie Bennett, a little bundle of joy to both spouses I guess you could say. The environment was dreary that day, raining about ninety percent of the time in England, but it didn't down their moment with me being held in my mother's arms for the very first time; eyes shining into hers. My father was a very successful business man and got offered a position in the States, my mother was a stay at home wife and didn't oppose to demands and in an instant we were packed and already on a plane to our new house, I was at a prime age of 6, so young and full of life and love to my parents. We approached the hallway to the plane suddenly my father picked me up and sat me on his shoulders pretending to be the pilot of his own plane, "we're about to take off, kkchh, please fasten your seat belt and enjoy the ride, kkchh" we spun around and went to the foot of the plane, I was laughing so hard, it was a moment to cherish because later on this would all be gone. "You left me behind! The plane took off without me!" My mother chuckled and laughed as she finally caught up with us. The hostess welcomed us aboard as we took our seats and I begged for the window and I got it! Everyone was on as the pilot explained safety measures I drowned his voice out and looked outside of the airport site and to no one's surprise rain was surely falling and I thought to myself "it's strange how the rain always seems to follow me." I shook my head out of my entranced state as we finally took off, estimated time was well over several hours and we passed the time by entertaining one another playing cards and eventually I wound up passing out for a long nap, my father showed them our passports, filled out some paperwork on the plane and eventually landed on solid ground my father rubbed my arm gently, "hey kiddo it's time to wake up we're here!" I was still in and out of consciousness as he lifted me up and held me in his arms while my head rested against his shoulder.

It took us a few days to get settled in but our new home resided in the mountain regions of Moscow, Pennsylvania. It was absolutely beautiful and nature flourished in every nook and cranny, which resulted in me always being outside playing pretend with whatever I can find from being a pirate with twigs as swords fighting off imaginary stowaways to riding a dragon through a village, my mind was constantly going in the end which was a positive for me because I was so hyperactive. Every morning my mother would make us all breakfast and it was the best! From French toast to scrambled eggs, father always had a hot cup of coffee to wash it down with while I always had hot tea or milk. We would talk about our day and what we were planning on getting into for the rest of it, the kitchen table was a time for waking up with a fresh start and sharing it among one another. My father planned to top off the rest of the packages while I wanted to do nothing but explore around the house. It was a cold day so mother had dressed me up in a gray sweatshirt, a knitted green scarf, jeans and some old canvas shoes, overall it matched my growing light brown hair and deep dark brown eyes. She always liked to dress me up as if I was a life size doll of her own, I hated it at times, but I let her do it anyway since I had no say in it regardless. While my father was unloading the last of our belongings I was in the woods running through the trees only to find another girl around my age, she was sitting down in a patch of flowers like daisies, tulips, daffodils as she sang and plucked them gently out of the soft soil, I kept my distance and pushed myself out from behind a tree, "h-hi.." I spoke shyly, she quickly turned around dark brown chocolate hair with bangs almost covering her eyes as glasses protected the shades of green behind them, a light pink dress with white Mary Janes were a bit torn and covered here and there with dirt, she gazed at me with silence but spoke softly, "....Hello." I walked towards her with a grin on my face and sat down besides her, "my name is Sadie! What's yours?" I asked curiously, "do you live around here? Maybe we could be friends? How old are you?" She became startled by all the questioning and shyly replied, "M-Mary..Yes, I live around here..A friend would be n-nice..I'm six" I grinned, "I'm six too! I just moved here from Salisbury, England! So...I don't really know anybody...It's nice to meet you Mary!" The girl relaxed and handed me some flowers as her fingers were intertwining their stems to make all sorts of natural jewelry like bracelets, necklaces, and even crowns! It was the first time that I had felt like someone understood me besides my family and there were many more moments to come, we were best friends for such a long time..

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