✅ Potty Genius [NaNoWriMo 2022]

Forty-Seven

¿So did you try the new badge?

Not right away. But I emailed Dr Theo, and let her know what the last challenge was. I told her which badge I had too; I didn't know if she had tried the badges, but I knew that she was quite open to experimenting with the app, so there was a chance that she would have tried it once. I mean, she'd even given Britney permission to play around with her phone and make her have accidents, so she clearly didn't think it was such a big deal. Maybe it was because she knew it was her choice how far to go; she had never locked herself into the daily challenges, so it was just a game for her. And for me too, now I thought about it.

I didn't know if she would even have earned that badge; but if she knew its effects, maybe she could tell me whether it was worth trying, just to complete my last challenge. And early the next morning, I checked the messages on my phone and found that I had a reply. Theo had tried the dancing mad badge, and thought it was a bit silly. She warned me that I should wear a diaper if I was going to equip it, which wasn't such a surprise, but said that the theme was more about childishness than humiliation. From those hints, I was pretty sure that it was going to make me do a little pee-pee dance on the way to the bathroom, like a toddler struggling to hold it. And that certainly seemed embarrassing to me.

But I could be potty trained by the end of the day. The app would say I'd graduated, and Dr Theo would help to speed up getting those suggestions out of my head. Was it worth it? Would it be better just to wait for tomorrow's challenge and see if that was any easier?

I didn't think so. This one was almost like a game, and it was a game I could control. I would just remember to go potty before going anywhere around other people, so that it would only be able to kick in while I was alone. I emailed Theo back saying that I was enabling the badge, and told her that I would be free this afternoon. And then, hesitating just a little when I looked at all the badges I had unlocked on my new profile, I dragged it on. It asked me to confirm that I wanted to use the badge; of course it did. And of course I clicked 'yes' without even thinking about it. After agreeing with the third page of small print that I didn't remember the contents of, I realised just how quickly I was slipping into trance. And as soon as I saw it, I was tumbling down, all my big girl thoughts drifting away out of reach, so I could take in the words that were going to help me get potty trained.

¿What did the badge do?

I sat up and blinked at the screen. I'd been lying on my bed while I read the instructions on my tablet, and it was so comfortable that I thought I had spaced out. Then I stretched and rubbed my eyes, and remembered that I had been hypnotised. The last screen of the badge's description was there on the screen, a summary of the suggestions that I had agreed to be bound by for the next couple of hours. The badge's time limit was two and a half hours, so I could remove it before going out if it was a problem; or I could keep it on for longer so that I could complete the challenge.

"You're a big girl now," I read, and nodded in agreement. "And you will be so confident in your potty training when you wear this badge. And every time you need to go potty, a little dance will ensure that you almost make it." I could laugh a little at that; because I'd been potty training for a month now, and I knew that I was well past the point where "almost" making it was a reason to be proud. I was big now. But I also knew that Dr Theo had told me to wear a diaper while I tried this badge, and I knew there had to be a reason for that. So I opened the closet, and slid the shopping bags that concealed my diaper stash towards the front. I reached in and felt around between the packs, until I found one that was open and pulled out a diaper at random. It was just a little exciting, not knowing which kind I was going to be wearing, and in this case it was one of the BKS ones with fuzzy puppies on.

I unfolded my changing mat; another freebie with the latest packs of diapers, and lay back on the bed. I could put my bum on the diaper, rub some powder into my skin, and then tape it up easily. There was something really calming about the smell of baby powder, like it reminded me I was still allowed to be cute, even now I was old enough to be going off to university.

I admired the diaper in the mirror, then. It was embarrassing, but it also reminded me that I was only a big girl because I wanted to be. There was nothing forcing me to be big if I ever didn't want to, it was my choice. I was big enough to go to university, small enough to look cute in diapers, and free enough that I knew I didn't have to worry about it. I could be whoever I wanted to be, behind closed doors.

Okay, I was still nervous enough that I rushed to put a dressing gown on to hide the diaper when I heard footsteps on the stairs; I couldn't bear for Mum and Dad to know that I was wearing diapers. They might have accepted me cuddling Junior and Methplease again, but they would think I'd lost my mind if they saw me wearing this. They would probably blame themselves for it, and for not having enough money to give me as many toys as my friends, which would really make me feel guilty. I knew there was no way I could tell them what Potty Genius was; so the diapers had to stay completely secret.

For as long as I had to wear them, anyway. Which, hopefully, would be today. And if I felt like trying them again, just to help me feel cuter, I was sure that I would be able to order some delivered to me at the university. Dad would never even see them, and my secret would be protected. The ones in the closet here would forever be an accidental delivery, left untouched in the bottom of the closet, which there would be no need to ask questions about.

I let out the breath I'd been holding when the footsteps vanished down the stairs again. Of course, Mum would never have come in without knocking, so there was no reason for me to have worried. But it was always nice to have that little reassurance. And now it was time for me to get dressed, so that I could get an early breakfast, find out how this badge made me feel, and then relax a little before my last appointment with Dr Theo.

¿Did your parents guess anything?

Well, I felt pretty normal for most of the morning. I went downstairs for breakfast, and chatted with my parents. I was dressed up a bit, in a fancy skirt that I thought would be poofy enough to hide the fact that I was diapered, but I was still able to talk like an adult. I knew that I should be thinking more clearly now, as the teddy badge that I'd almost forgotten about should have gone now. But I didn't think it had been affecting me so much anyway; the suggestions had almost faded without any badge changes to reinforce them over the last week. And now if I allowed myself to act childish, it was because it was kind of comforting. It was something I could choose to do.

While I finished my breakfast, Dad was reading a newspaper at the kitchen table. It was a while since I'd seen him do that; maybe he wanted to spend more time with me before I left home or something. And when I only had half a mug of coffee left, and was thinking about returning to my room, he spoke.

"Hmm..." he said thoughtfully. Clearly whatever he was thinking about was important enough to demand his full attention. "Endless cold food is immature."

I looked down at the bowl in front of me; I'd had cereal this morning, but that wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Was he really criticising me for–

"Childish?" Mum answered, while I tried to get my brain in gear enough to put a couple of words together. "Chill means cold, and a dish can mean food. Endless means take the second 'L' off the end of chill. So... childish."

"Perfect," Dad said with a smile, and raised his pen. I was so shocked that it still took a couple of seconds for me to figure out what was going on here.

"Oh, you're doing the crossword!" I couldn't help saying it out loud when I finally understood.

"Yeah. Just remembering when I always used to do it on the train to work, before everybody had their phones. And when you were little, I'd read out the easy ones to see if you can help me. Encourage problem solving skills. That's kind of... Well, I guess I stopped reading the paper when I stopped commuting. And I thought I might give it a try again."

That was all he needed to say. And now I was older, I was sure I could come up with more than the simplest answers. We ended up sitting at the kitchen table for half an hour, throwing clues and guesses around. After that, there was only one clue left. I thought the answer was anacolutha, but it didn't seem to fit. I was a little frustrated when the call of nature forced me to leave the room with the puzzle still incomplete, but I couldn't wait any longer.

"Be right back!" I said, fighting to keep from squirming as I ran to the door. "Gotta go potty!"