hidden thoughts

struggling in school

i thought this was going to be a good experience

but here I am dreading every single minute of it.

just praying time runs so I can go back to my happy place: home.

so I can run to my mom's arms that I crave the whole day.

the only genuine friend I have in life.

the only person who treats me like a human.

so I can go back to lying in bed and staring at the ceiling all day,

with my mind racing with all sorts of thoughts.

because that seems to be the only thing that makes me feel real

everyone striving to their best makes me feel dumb.

even when i give it all, its never enough.

i don't think it will ever be.