Rise Up

Chapter 3: The Debut

After the dinner with Mick in my hotel room, I took a shower and head to bed but I couldn't sleep- I was thinking of the race of the day after. 

I was so excited and nervous, I wanted to show everyone how much I deserved this chance and maybe I also wanted to stop all the speculations about me. After the accident, a lot of rumours were spread about me, my fault on the crash, my health situation and all, of course this didn't help my recovery. 

I grabbed my bag on the nightstand and took out a cigarette. 

Hannah- my therapist- would be so mad at me right now, like my family, friends, boss, personal trainer, manager, basically everyone. I know that I should stop but I'm keeping this under control, smoking just when it's necessary, alias just when I need a little help to be able to relax. I inhale and exhale the heavy smoke that quickly reached my lungs and mind, relaxing me. Then I headed to bed again, this time falling asleep.

Race day! Here we are. After getting ready, I had breakfast with some guys of the team, I had my usual morning call with my parents and then head to the track. Here I had a long warming up session, focused on my poor broken knee.

Now I was in my room with Mike, trying to recover my normal breathe after a long walk on the track, cardio activities and massages for my poor- not well trained- muscles. It was time to get ready, so I was left alone for dressing up. I started to feel nervous, not really for the race itself, but more for myself. 

Am I really ready? I can't fuck up again. I mustn't fuck up again. 

I breathed out loud again and I realized my huge craving for a cigarette right now, but no, absolutely not before a race. I grabbed my helmet, gloves and the balaclava and stopped in front of the mirror, looking at myself. The white and blue suit tight on my hips was amazing, my helmet had a special design with small doodles drawn by me during my long permanence in the hospital bed and my hair was tied in an easy low braid, just to not being uncomfortable with the helmet on.

My gaze fall on my right knee. "Ok dude, let's go and do some good shit, right? Don't you dare mess up all of this, am I clear? Not now, not today. I already suffer a lot due to you so please, just give me a small payback ok?" I sighed feeling a bit frustrated but I cleaned my head quickly and went downstairs to the rest of the team.

Franz, Fred, Susanne and Mike, Pierre and his personal trainer, also some mechanics tried to pull a smile on my face and I'm glad to say that they all managed to do it. I jumped in the car, feeling ready and content for being finally back.

Let's race!

...

What a messy race. 

Half of the grid was disappointed after a huge car sandwich in turn 1 in the first lap. Luckily it was an easy track incident, nobody was hurt and I was glad of this.

 I took away my helmet, after my car suffered for a puncture and some other mechanic problems due the contact with the others. Looking around me I could only see long faces, but strangely I wasn't feeling that disappointed, I was more like... relieved. 

Maybe I wasn't really that ready to race again. 

My debut in F1 hasn't been the most brilliant but I think it'll be the shortest.

"Not the debut you could have imagined, right?".

 I was in the media pen, waiting for my turn when Lando came closer to me, with his suit on his hips and his water bottle in his hands. 

"What can I say? Maybe it's a sign." 

"What do you mean?" He asked with a chuckle. 

"Well, maybe the world is trying to tell me that it's not my time to come back." 

"Oh, well, it could be, but if I can be completely honest with you, I don't think it is that way. For what I remember, you're a great driver, competitive but always respectful of the main fair play rules. You're determinate and so talented Kiara, so please, be a bit modest and accept the fact that you'll come back... sooner or later." 

Ok, now I'm speechless. 

"Wow, thanks Lando. You know, if I'll ever come back, I want you as my personal motivator." 

We laughed again and I gave a quick and light squeeze at his arm when I was called by the Sky Sports reporter.

After the interviews, the race was finished. I came back to the motorhome and had the usual report meeting with the rest of the team. Franz felt sorry for my result but I suggested him to focus not on me but on Pierre, who managed to score some good points anyway.

"Hey girl, sorry for today, maybe you'll have better luck next time. Anyway I know you probably want to run to the hotel and laid on bed all day but I arranged another meeting for you. It should be quick. Please be calm and act good with him, he just wants to exchange a few words. Ok, here we are, go and be a good child, I'll wait for you here, don't worry!"

Susanne has to stop pushing me around while speaking to me- I'm not that smart to be able to do more things in the same time. With all her random words, she took me in front of the RedBull hospitality. I have no time to think because Christian Horner came to me all of a sudden, opening me the door and pushing me inside.

I'm speechless. No, wait, I'm shocked. Horner just asked me to come back at racing as a reserve driver again for the Belgium GP.