In the name of love || ONC2023

Chapter 13: Wei WuXian

Wei WuXian's POV

Location: Earth, 108th Dimension.

Lan Zhan's silence cut me deeper than his magical sword ever could. Even my bones felt the rejection he had thrown in my face by turning away from me. 

Served me right. Didn't it? 

Just because he wasn't married and not seeing anyone didn't automatically mean he would forget what I had done and how I behaved. I should have known he would never accept me or my friendship. 

It was good thinking on my part not to ask what I had wanted to: will you be my boyfriend or something along those lines. It didn't matter now anyway. 

He didn't want anything to do with me. 

I watched him till he was at the threshold, about to step out of the room and my life, when something occurred to me, "Wait!" I called and approached him. Turning him around, I asked, "Why did you come here?" I pointed at the tablet Meng Yao was holding, the same one that had incriminating evidence that he had tried to rape me. "Did you come here to confess that you did this?" I grabbed the tablet from the other man's hand and shoved it in Lan Zhan's face, "Did you do this? Were you upset that you couldn't finish the job? Did you come here thinking about…about," I paused, choosing the words he would understand, words that would hurt him just like he had hurt me, "finishing what you started..take me against my will…sully my mind and body…crush my soul…make me hate myself till I lost my will to rise up…till I craved nothing but death!?"

Though his face remained like an unused sheet of paper, tears ran down his cheeks. I had thought that lying like that would make me feel better…that hurting him would make me feel better. It didn't. If anything, I felt worse. Not only that, memories I had buried deep within me resurfaced. 

Everything I had said, every accusation I had hurled at him- though it had nothing to do with him- was true. I was not pure.

My soul had been dragged to hell and back. It was tattered and scarred. 

My head swam. The four walls of the once-spacious room began closing in on me. Tentacles, dark and sharp, latched on and wrapped around my legs, pulling the floor from under me. As I drowned in a sea of anguish, I wished to hear it one last time: the song of storm and silence. 

Just before I went past the point of no return, I was yanked out of despair by a pair of strong arms that wrapped around my waist and pulled me to a place I could breathe freely. Not wanting to lose them in the dark, I grabbed onto them. "Don't let me go," I whispered. I couldn't tell if I was heard. Then it came, like a ray of hope…like the light at the end of a tunnel, and cutting through the tentacles that were sucking the life out of me, it carried me towards the sun. 

"Wei WuXian?" 

Someone called. It felt nice and warm. 

"Wei WuXian…Ah-Xian? Can you hear me?"

Lan Zhan? But it couldn't be him, could it? He had abandoned me. I had hurt him. I had made him leave. 

Something cold landed on my face, dragging me out of the night. Slowly, I opened my eyes. Concerned monolids met mine.

"Wei WuXian." The deep baritone and the relieved smile on the handsome face made my heart stutter. It skipped a few beats, at least.  

Was this real? 

"Wei WuXian." He called again. His warm palm settled on my cheek, "I didn't… it was not me. I didn't hurt you. I would never hurt you." He explained, helping me up, desperately wanting me to believe him. 

"I know." I confided, and he blinked. He must have had a rough childhood too. Why else was he so emotionally stunted?

From the looks of it, we were on a roof, with the sun peaking at us from the horizon, on the verge of setting.

"You do?" He cocked his head, looking very unlike his usual self. His childlike innocence made me fall in love with him all over again. 

Again. I didn't know what had made me think it. After all, I had met Lan Zhan for the first time just this morning, hadn't I? Still, even with all the Goddamn fuckery that had been going on- with me waking up in a cave, then in a hospital bed before here, on this terrace- I could say without a doubt in my heart that I loved him, and that there would never be anyone else except him. 

Throwing away any part of me that didn't believe in us, I reached for him. A fine dusting of pink turned his cheeks the color of dusk as I buried my fingers in his now-short crop, "Lan Zhan, I am shameless and a flirt." 

Hoping that he would be able to look past my scars, I filled my lungs with courage, lowered my eyes, and spoke as calmly as I could, "I am an orphan; when I was a child, I was taken in by people who promised to raise me with love." Chucking mirthlessly, I pressed on, "They… hurt me. You can't see my scars. But they are there. The accusations I threw at you are my truths." I waited for him to say something. Having concluded that he was a man of few words, I would have accepted even an 'Mn' from him. But when nothing came, I started losing hope. I knew this was my last chance before my confidence died for good, "I am not like you. I am not clean and pure. I am damaged, Lan Zhan, but I love you. Will you-" 

The rest of my words died promptly as hungry lips met mine, and possessive arms pulled me close. A moment later, I was flat on my back with Lan Zhan hovering over me- right back where we had met each other: in the cave- watching me with such heat in his eyes that if I was a chicken, I would be a ready-to-eat meal now. 

"Ah-Xian," Lan Zhan growled. He sounded like a lion: a famished beast eyeing his prey, and I was his target, a rabbit about to be eaten alive. 

Was I complaining? Of course, not. In fact, if anything, I wanted him to hurry up and have his way with me. 

Come on, what did you expect? 

I am shameless, aren't I? 

*****
Chapter Word Count: 1113
Word count so far: 27031