Destiny's Play!!

Chapter - 69

Karan stared at her. In shock. 'I am a widow'. Her words echoed through his brain making it numb. It was difficult to register. But he knew she spoke the truth. He heard it in her voice. For the first few seconds he couldn't even breathe. He looked at her face. Though she stood looking at him because he had asked her to but her tears fell on her cheeks as if an age old dam had broken. He wondered if she could actually see anything through them. A widow she said. She was all of twenty three. When had she gotten married to become a widow at such an early age? As the numbness in his head wore off he noticed she was trembling now. He hadn't said anything to her. What could he possibly say that would sound right at this point? He was here to propose to hear her acceptance instead she had thrown him completely off course. Okay, first things first. His brain had finally started to function and his protective instincts kicked in. Get her to stop looking so defeated and bleak. He couldn't stand her ever looking like that. Desolate. Tired. Wounded. Whether she accepted him or rejected him he still could never see the same look on her face he had seen days before...before she had come out of the gloominess. He took a step towards her and when she didn't immediately move back the way she sometimes did he gathered her close in his arms and rested her head against his chest. This was better. He needed to feel her against him. He felt more in control. Why hadn't she told him this before? And his parents had known? Since when? He had to calm her down first. She had to start at the beginning. Though a part of him was enraged at her for hiding something like this. The other part, the part who loved her more wanted to see her safe first.

"You must hate me for lying to you," she murmured.

Karan heard her but kept quiet. She needed to talk. To get the weight off her. Only then she would be able to reason. Besides he needed some time too. Coming to grips with something like this needed more than a few seconds.

"I didn't want to," she said softly, "but ma made me promise to not tell anyone. She is not my mother you know," Avni went on, "Shalini is my mother in law," she told him again. At that point she tried to break his hold and look at his face to see what was going on in that head of his but he pushed her head back to where it was. "I was married two years ago," she told him, "to Sahil. He died two months after our marriage in an accident," she said quietly.

Avni wasn't sure how he was taking anything she was telling him. He must hate her. There was no other reason why he wouldn't even allow her to look at him. Her heart broke at that thought. She had cheated him in a way maybe not deliberately but she had been selfish. And there was no denying that. She should have stayed in that little shell she had built around herself. She should never have followed her heart. For a momentary happiness she had brought on a life full of heartache. She could never look at him now. This was what was going to be her life story from here on.

"I am sorry Karan," she said tearfully, "I never meant to hurt you. I had never thought you would fall in love with someone like me. I am so unworthy of you," she said her voice quivering. "You are better off without me," she went on when he didn't reply but he didn't stop her either, "you deserve so much better. Someone who could love you and cherish you for the person you are. Someone who could stand by you and make you proud. A girl who could soothe you in pain and give you all the happiness you deserve," she said her voice breaking again.

She was so stupid. She was standing here describing to the man she loved the kind of person he should marry. Why doesn't she find one for him too while she was at it. Why was life so cruel to her? Why destiny had brought Karan to her life if she was only going to snatch him away? Make him hate her? She couldn't bear it.

"And you cannot be that person," Karan asked quietly.

Avni paused. Had she heard him correctly? Or her mind was playing games? No, she had heard it right. She looked up at his face. And this time round he let her. He was serious. He would never joke about something like that. Could it be possible that he might accept her truth? That he might forgive her and accept her? That he might be able to accept her past? No, it couldn't be. It was not right by him.