The Exchange Student (Kaguya sama love is war x oc)

Mikiyu Shirogane still hasnt done it

I apologize for the delay, maths decided to have a midterm this week so...ya any how this is based of the the first part of episode 3 from the show. it follows mostly the same plot sorry I couldn't get something longer and more unique out, I'm working on a few chapters at the moment that will definitely be longer I might start doing multiple parts from episodes in a chapter, but that would mean longer waits, so let me know if you want that or not.

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Now, forget whatever is stressing you out, grab something to drink or eat or both, and relax and enjoy,

Or else.

The morning sun shone through the windows of the student council room, shirogane was diligently working at his desk, Kaguya was sitting on the couch, and Chika... Chika was doing whatever Chika does

The door opens as Evan enters, "yo shirogane I finished the plan for that French event thing", shirogane glances up from his work, "oh thanks"

Kaguya notices a strange magazine on the table "Oh, what's this", shirogane responds as Chika picks up the magazine on the table, " the principal confiscated it, said it didn't belong in a school, it's weird though"

"AHH", Chika screeches dropping the magazine which Kaguya caught with little effort, "I'VE BEEN SCARED"

Shirogane glanced up from the papers on his desk, 'ok, why is she freaking out, wait, are there naked chicks in that thing'

Narrator: and suddenly Shirogane is very interested.

Kaguya opens the magazine as her scanning its contents, "what's all the fuss, a survey asked people how old they were for their first time, and it showed that 34% did it in high school"

"I don't believe it there's way that many teens have crossed that threshold.", Fujiwara laments

Narrator: 34%, over a third, have tasted the forbidden fruit, that means strain a class of 30 students 10 have already done it, and statistically speaking so have one of them

"Maybe it's so high because the people who took the survey are those who like to read", the pink-haired girl is still fidgeting around restlessly, "right it's the sample selection bias that numbers way too high to be accurate" " Shirogane adds, "oh for sure" the two chuckle in ah nervous relief before Kaguya spoke up

"You think so? It seems about right to me", silent shock followed by a horrified shriek from shirogane

"HUH!?"

"she's right, actually 34% seems pretty low, it's way higher in America", Evan casually adds peering over her shoulder

"IT'S HIGHER!?", Chika cried, "Ehem, Fairly sure the answer is no but are you saying that, because you two are in that 34%"

Evan gives her a blank stare, "No, I have not gotten down and dirty with anyone, nor do I intend to," he shivers, "the idea of it makes me wanna hurl", 

 "dirty? I don't see how it's dirty", Kaguya says still reading the magazine, he gives her a confused look, "You kidding right? It's such a messy process, especially the first time, I remember when my sister had hers the laundry room stunk for weeks, don't tell me you're in that 34%?",

"Yes have been for some time," she said nonchalantly, Chika let out another horrified scream as the Shirogane began reading out an area code for a phone book, "but I have no clue what they're doing in America, I've only ever gotten slightly wet.",

Evan gags, "I think I'm gonna be sick",

Shirogane's head twitched as he started to rattle off area codes even faster, Chika went pale

"I don't see what the big deal is it's completely normal for teens, the three of you must not have been raised in very loving environments", she says looking back towards the group,

Chika and the president start mumbling garbled thoughts of having wanted to wait, Evan was bracing himself against the bookshelf, still trying not to barf.

Narrator: There's an urgency about them...well two of them, and Kaguya hasn't failed to notice, that when people feel they are being left behind, it can motivate them to do something reckless, even if that means confessing their love.

She gives a devilish smile as she imagines shirogane crawling over to confess,

Narrator: oh looks like someone found they're objective for the day

"what's wrong president aren't you what most people would consider popular",

Narrator: she instigates

"Yet you still don't have a girlfriend",

Narrator: she instigates more

Shirogane is caught off guard "Well no I don't have any relationship of that type, at least not right now"

Narrator: nice save by using the word "now" he can imply that he has been in such a relationship before without outright lying.

Evan who had finally gotten his body under control looked at him unconvinced, 'Yaaaaa, He's definitely a virgin',

"I believe you have a little sister, you probably do it with her all the time", she says sipping her tea,

"Ah yes tha-," Shirogane slams his hands on the table "OF COURSE NOT YOU CRAZY SICKO",

"What the big deal, why, I just did it with my newborn nephew",

"EXCUSE ME WHAT!?," Evan bellows he covers his mouth as he goes green, "Now I'm actually gonna be sick," Evan looks around for something to use as Chika brings a trash can

"My family filmed the entire thing, they even took pictures"

Shirogane contemplates before responding, "Shinomiya. Do you know what first time means?",

"Of course I do it means one's first kiss", she receives a room of silence and stares in response.

Narrator: you see, shinomiya grew up the heir to a buissne-

"BWAHAHA", Evan bursts out laughing as if he wasn't about to reveal what he ate for breakfast, "Kaguya, It means to lose your virginity", he says through tears, his long hair wiping around him as his chest continues to heave from laughter," to have sex, or intercourse if you wish to be fancy about it", Kaguya didn't seem to understand, causing him to sigh, "ok, so first you *bleep* then you *bleep* then once it's hard your gonna take the *bleep* and shove it up the *bleep* *bleep* *BLEEEEEEEEP*"

10 minutes later

"And that's what a first time is", Kaguya didn't respond staring off into space while a pink blush spread across her face.

"...", shirogane and Chika turn to Evan with completely horrified expressions

"Wait so you knew what it meant", Shiroganes asks apprehensively

"Yes"

"And you still think it's...", Chika continues

"Yes, it's considerably higher in America."

"But how did you describe it in such, umm," shirogane tugs on his collar "explicit detail"

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to"

Narrator: results for today's battle, the student council is slightly traumatized

Next chap should be out be either tomorrow or Monday, cya.