Juniper Blue (NaNoWriMo2023; manxman)

Chapter 15

Juniper

Halina hated being the middle child. When we were younger, she'd get in trouble at school, mostly for talking too much and causing a distraction in class. I was a talker, too, but I could control myself in class. She always walked in Violet's shadow and when I came around, all the attention shifted to me, the youngest and only boy. Dad would have given her the cabin, but she chose to live in Portland to do her own thing, so he let me have it. It's not like I didn't pay rent, but either Halina didn't believe it or she didn't care, claiming I never had to work for anything, calling me spoiled and Dad's favorite. I didn't know if I was Dad's favorite, but he thought of me as his best friend since our mother left, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing, either.

At the same time, Halina and I were closer than Violet and I. Like everyone, she had her own inner demons to fight. Violet was eight years older than me and had her own family. Nowadays, her kids took up most of her time. Halina knew me better than anyone, so it was no surprise she jumped to the conclusion Gabriel and I were more than friends. Still, I wondered what gave it away. Gabriel called it 'gaydar,' a term I'd never heard before.

Halina always hoped to marry a doctor and here I was, madly in love with a physician she had her eye on since the harvest fair party. Her baby brother got a man she always wanted; or at least whom she claimed she wanted. She changed men as often as she changed careers. I just didn't want her outing me to Dad. I wanted to do that myself, and I had to figure out a way to do that.

Gabriel held his arm around my waist, walking me back to the cabin. While I lay in bed, he removed my shoes and socks and tucked me in. I wasn't totally drunk, but I was more than tipsy. Right now I just wanted to hide from the rest of the world. Halina made everything so real. Up until now, Gabriel was the only one who knew I was gay. I thought I was okay with my self-discovery, but I realized I wasn't okay with it.

"It'll be okay," Gabriel said, lying beside me, combing his fingers through my hair soothingly.

"You were the only one who knew. My family... my coworkers... the principal... no one knows." Suddenly panic-stricken, I bolted upright. "What's everyone gonna think of me?"

"It's 2022, not 1960."

"Do people at your work know you're gay?"

"I don't know. It's not like I introduce myself as Dr. Benowitz, the gay doctor. You can't get fired for being gay. They can't even ask you your sexual orientation. You don't have to tell anyone... But you have to tell the rest of your family and I know I have to tell mine. Being gay doesn't change who you are."

I lay back down as someone pounded on the front door. "I'm not getting that," I said.

"I'll get it. Relax."

Gabriel left the bedroom to open the front door. I suspected Halina would show up by the end of the night. She came sooner than expected. "Hey, Juni!" Halina shouted. "I brought you some pie! It's the least I can do since you made it. Are you gonna come down and show your face or what or are you gonna let the doctor do all the talking? That's not like you. Come on, Juni! Show yourself." 

Knowing Halina, she wouldn't leave me or Gabriel alone until I did show my face. I decided to get up and confront my sister.

"I'm gonna make coffee," Gabriel said. Go sit."

Halina and I headed to the living room. "He's nice," Halina said. "He's made himself at home, hasn't he?"

"I guess," I said, sitting on the couch. She sat on the adjacent chair.

"I may have overreacted earlier... you know, that thing I said about Dad having a second heart attack. He'll flip out if you don't tell him, Juni. You can't continue to let him believe you're dating a girl. He really thinks you're in love with a girl and he's annoyed you haven't introduced her or even mentioned her name."