Heart Killer (Jeff the Killer x Male! Reader)

Feelings

Jeff, October 5th


I don't know how long I've been sitting on this damn couch. I can't really get myself to get up though. I stare at the TV, eating out of a family sized bag of Doritos. God, I hate myself. Why can't I just be normal about things? Maybe I'll feel better if I go kill someone tonight. Then I'll forget about everything that happened last weekend. I continue staring at the television, starting to get bored when Eyeless Jack opens the door.

"Ever hear of knocking?" I shouted gruffly at him.

"You sound like shit." Eyeless states, standing in the doorway.

"Nice to see you too." I roll my eyes at him. Why's he gotta be so damn blunt. He walks in, closing the door behind him and sits on the lounge chair in front of me. I shift to face him, moving the bag of chips to the other side of the couch. 

"What do you want?" I ask, grumpily. What was so important that he had to ruin my sulking on the couch time?

"Slenderman wants to make a compromise with you." Of course he does, I think and roll my eyes.

"Why didn't he send one of his main proxies then? You've obviously already tried to talk me into coming back." I stretch my arm to grab another chip out of the bag.

Eyeless Jack sighs, "Because he knows you'd listen to me better than them." He's not wrong, Eyeless probably pisses me off the least out of everyone there.

"Fair enough, what's the deal this time?" I cross my arms in front of me.

"He says that if you go back to the mansion you get to choose your assignments and he'll give you more space to roam around and take leave." That doesn't sound terrible...but I don't need him anymore. I'm not some kid who needs protection. Besides, who knows how truthful he's being about that. Not even Tim gets that much freedom.

"Why does he care so much about me?" I huff, confused about why he's being so fucking adamant about this.

"He's very strict on deals...I guess." Eyeless Jack shrugs. I stare off at the wall, considering it but not really. Eyeless Jack seems to understand my silence as a no because he drops it.

"So...how's that guy you're friends with?" Eyeless Jack attempts to make small talk. I groan in embarrassment and cover my face in my hands. I just want to forget about it all. "What? Did I say something?" he asks, confused.

"No, I just probably screwed everything up. It's nothing." I mumble, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Why? Did you kill his family or something?" Eyeless laughs out, cluelessly. I hesitate to speak, listening to him laugh.

"No." I grumble, causing him to calm down and stop laughing. "I kissed him." I mutter, barely loud enough for him to hear. 

"What? You kissed him?" He laughs in disbelief. Yeah yeah, I get it. This is different for me too.

"Quit it. I was drunk." I snap back and he quiets down again. We sit in silence; my heart is pounding with anxiety. It's too silent...say something already!

"You said you screwed everything up? Did he not like it or something?" I can almost see him smirking under that mask.

"Well, no...it's just. I don't want to talk to you about this!" I hiss and turn my body away, wanting him to leave already. He overstayed his welcome.

"Is it because you're ignoring how you feel again?" He says upfront.

"Stop."

"Are you going to run away like you always do?" He eggs me on, wanting me to scream at him.

"Eyeless, quit." I snarl.

He puts his hands up in self-defense, "Look, I'm just trying to help you out here." 

"Oh? Cause it seems like you're just trying to make me feel worse about myself?" I retort, shuffling closer onto the couch.

He sighs in annoyance, "I'm just trying to get you to sort yourself out. It's not fair to anyone else when you get like this."

"It's for the best." I mumble, glaring at the ceiling. An uncomfortable silence follows. It sounds like he's giving up talking to me about this. I should be glad he's finally done pestering me, but I just feel empty. Does he actually want to help me? It's hopeless, every time I get too close to someone, I end up ruining everything and leaving. I can't even ask for help because I have so much goddamn pride. 

Eyeless Jack interrupts my thoughts, "Well, if you're not going to accept Slender's offer then I might as well just take my leave." He gets up to leave and I panic, feeling this sudden urge to spill everything on my mind. I can trust him, right? As Eyeless Jack heads out the door I start to rant.

"It's just, he's so perfect. He can meet my energy, he's funny, and is chill about things that would disgust most people." God what am I doing? "He's not appalled by me, even when we first met. And he looks like an actual angel. I just know I'm going to end up ruining everything." I swallow, feeling embarrassed with myself for having these feelings. I'm a ruthless killer, and somehow this one person has turned me to mush so easily.

Eyeless Jack turns around to face me. "Jeff, just go for it." He states in a monotone voice.

"But-" I start before getting cut off.

He groans, "You are a mess currently, and if you aren't coming back to the mansion then I'd at least want you to be somewhat put together."

"Fine." I sigh, giving up.

"By Jeff." He waves before turning around to walk out the door.

"Bye Eyeless and...thanks." I huff out.

"You're welcome?" He says surprised before exiting through the door. Man, what has gotten into me? I don't think I've said thank you in years. All this gooey mushy crap is messing with my brain. It all feels so strange. I'm not supposed to feel like this, it just happened. There's no reason to deny it anymore. I stuck by him because I want to be with him...God this is so weird!

I get up and walk to the backdoor, stepping outside to get a breath of fresh air. Now what? Yeah, we made out but is there any evidence he likes me back or was just doing it because he was drunk? I remember bits and pieces from that night, of course it took me a minute to remember but I do remember a lot of the stuff I said to him that night. Not really anything he said to me though. Besides, no matter how similar I think we are, he's still a much better person than I am. I can't see why he would ever want to be with someone like me. As friends maybe, because that's not as morally damning, but he seems to be so concerned about doing the "right thing", or pretending he is, that I don't think he'd feel the same about me. I sigh and sift around for a cigarette in one of my pockets. Finding one, I take it out and light it. This should calm me down. 

As I breathe out the cigarette smoke, I find my thoughts wandering again to that night. Drunk words are sober thoughts, right? Although I can't remember what he was talking about, I remember kissing him after he said something. He must have said some sort of invite, right? And in those pictures, he was smiling. I don't know why he would, but maybe he does like me. My heart speeds up at the thought. This is so dumb. I shouldn't be feeling so giddy right now. I have to admit though, it feels sort of nice. To let my walls down for a moment and just be. I look up at the sky, covered almost completely by giant oak trees. Should I visit him again? I don't like this silence between us, it feels weird. Everything about this feels foreign; he's the first person I'm actually interested in enough to seek out first. I consider heading over there, but my nerves get the best of me. Monday, I'll go and see him on Monday...or Tuesday.