Millions of thoughts were running in my head on how the first night of my marriage will go.
This might be the most anticipated night for people tying knot with love.
But our wedding? it has no love in it, none of it.
Goosebumps appears on my skin when I saw him entering 'our' room.
My heart ran rapidly just thinking about the possibilities of me getting raped by my own husband,whom I barely know.
I don't want to be one of those many girls who fail to take stand for their self.
He sat beside me and said my name "Aakriti"
When I didn't reply, he held my hand.
I immediately jerked my hand, getting alarmed.
Confusion tookover his calm expression.
"I won't do anything without your permission, Aakriti" He looks into my eyes like he wanted to know everything going in my head, like he wants to comfort me, like he wants to assure me that this was not a bad decision, like he wants to give this marriage a real chance. "I know this is an arranged marriage but you can trust me. Hum tab tak bas dost banke hi rahenge, jab tak aap comfortable na ho"
(we'll stay as friends until you get comfortable enough to take our marriage further)
I was still looking at his face, and his expression seem genuine.
Can I trust him?
"Ji, shukriya" I used some words remembering how Nandani di told me to speak properly.
(Thank you)
He smiles a little and says he needs to have some conversation with Vicky bhaiya and I could change my clothes and go to sleep.
(bhaiya- elder brother)
I breathed out when he went out.
Thank Goodness.
It went easier than I ever imagined.
I stood up and walked to the dressing table.
I looked at myself in the mirror.
I looked beautiful, even after so much of crying.
But my lips didn't form any smile, my eyes didn't shine the way it used to do.
Could he see the pain in my eyes when he was looking at me? could he tell how broken I am?
•°•
"Vaishali did you convey my message to Daksh?" I asked my best friend.
We were in her house, talking about how I am getting forced in a marriage.
I called her yesterday after my mom left my room and cried my heart out.
I also asked her to ask Daksh to meet me for one last time.
Daksh and I broke up two months ago.
We were in very happy relationship and everything was going well until my Dad found out about us.
I wanted to fight for mine and his relationship but my dad started black mailing me saying he would commit suicide if I ever see Daksh's face ever again.
I also heard that my parents had informed Daksh's parents about us and he was going through similar blackmailing.
And then we had to cut tie with each other.
I wanted to meet him for one last time before I got married cause after that I would be someone else's wife
"I told him Aakriti, he said that you just inform him the time and date and he will be there" She informs.
"Vaishu, you know I still feel for him. I don't want to marry Vaishu" I started crying again.
She held me and rubbed my back, letting me cry.
"Shh, baby, shh we'll think of something" She comforts me "Should I talk to your parents?"
"Nahi yaar, woh log phir mujhe bohot sunayenge" I cried.
(No, they'll again humiliate me)
"Toh kya tu sach m shaadi kar legi? she asks getting frustrated at my parents' decision .
(So, will you actually get married or what? "
" Mujhe kuch nahi pata, kuch bhi nahi"
(I don't know anything, nothing)
" Daksh se kab milna hai?"she asks so she could convey the message to him.
Vaishali has been the messenger pigeon for me and Daksh for two months.
She conveys our message and keep us updated about each other's life.
I wish I could meet him.
"Ek kaam kar, tu usse call kar" I tell her and she nods.
(Do a thing, call him now)
°•°
I shoo all my thoughts and changed into a kurti and leggings and went to bed.
It's better to already sleep before he comes in so I don't have to face him.
Kitne din tum apne hi pati se bhagogi,Aakriti
(Till when you'll avoid your own husband, Aakriti)
I tossed myself around the bed but couldn't sleep.
I was feeling uneasy, suffocating.
What if he comes back and use me?
No but I'll wake up if I feel anyone touching me.
What if he drugs me?
My thoughts kept thinking about all the worst possibilities.
Bholenath, save me.
Hey peeps,
Just so y'all don't get confused
the text between •°• ,°•° is flashbacks.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day
- wanderer
