I don't know what to feel anymore.
One second I feel nothing the other second i feel everything.
I'm trying to stay alive but it feels like I'm already dead.
It's like I'm drowning.
I want to give up and just drown but the fear of dying is keeping me alive.
What will happen after? Will I be free? Will I be happy?
I have so many questions but I have no answers, It's like I'm searching for something that doesn't exist.
My brain keeps asking those questions and they pull me down deeper in the water.
They want me to drown.
My head tells me that I should just give up and let the water flow in my lungs but this little spark in my heart that still believes that someone will come and rescue me keeps me alive.
Stupid heart.
I want to pull it out and throw it away.
It gave me nothing except pain.
Now I ask myself should I just give in?
Should my brain lead me to the promised peace after death or should I listen to this small little spark in my heart?
