The Proletarian of Mayfair

Chapter Ten

"I will know it is true love when she is the last thing I think of before I fall asleep, the first thing I think of when I wake, and the star of all my dreams."
The Secret Journal of B.T.

While Benjamin knew he could not lie to his mama, he wished there was any young miss with half the wit and passion for life Olivia did. To his dismay, he could not find one. Instead, he watched as Miss Cho showed off her talents with watercolors.

Would he ever dare to meet with her before the rest of Mayfair? No. Did he ever think to send her a letter? Of course not. No one quite occupied his thoughts like Miss Bridgerton-Sharpe did. It did not help his case that she told him it was acceptable to call her Olivia.

Then, she proceeded to use his name and he still felt giddy when he remembered how her voice sounded when she said it.

"This is one of my favorite pieces, though I do hope I am not being a bore." Ben shook his head to rid his thoughts of her and looked up at the stunning watercolors.

It was a simple sunset, yet he could feel how much she admired the way the clouds captured the fading rays of sunlight. The buildings at the bottom were painted in darkening shades of brown that framed the bottom perfectly. Though he would have admitted to being a bit bored, he could not do it when the painting in front of him was this beautiful.

"It is a stunning painting. Truly. There is nothing more beautiful than a sunset after a rainy day." Miss Cho's face glowed with pride. If he were a gambling man (which he was not, thanks to his family's lack of funds), he would bet she had never had a gentleman truly pay attention to what she did.

It hurt his heart to think that any woman would feel like they were unheard by anyone.

"That is very kind of you," she replied. The faintest blush brushed across her cheeks. He crossed the space between them and kissed her hand.

"You are very talented, Miss Cho. It does not take a lord to know that." He may have felt next to nothing towards her, however, that did not dismiss cordiality when the situation required it.

At Eaton, he could charm any lady, not that he found it pressing to bring them into his bed. It was a practice he found garish and wasteful. Most of his friends—Crane, Ambrose, and Finch especially—told him he required an exotic experience before being tied to a woman forever.

"Would you care to join me for a promenade in two days' time?" Ben asked. She lit up at the prospect. For the first time, Miss Cho broke the façade of perfection and gave a full smile that showed the whites of her teeth. Most, including her horrified mama, would consider it uncomely, but they could not deny the reason for it.

Any gentleman who offered such a gesture surely became a more serious suitor, and not only to them. The rest of the ton understood the weight of a daytime promenade. In this day and age, it meant the suitor was willing to be seen in public with the young miss. A proposal was not far behind.

Ben knew that was what it could mean. He did it with Miss Cho because he could not with the true lady of his choosing. A proposal was not what he wished to be in his sights. However, if he was required to choose a chit, he would much rather pick Olivia. Miss Cho held a distant second to Miss Bridgerton-Sharpe's clear lead.

He took his leave shortly after. Miss Cho and Lady Cho took him up on his offer, both grinning widely.

However, all he wished for was to drown his memories in whisky and forget his responsibilities. He decided Whites was the perfect place to do just that. His friends would all be there. Even if they all were against his public courting of Miss Cho and whoever else as he attempted to placate his mama, it was better than walking out of doors with all the rest of the mamas of the ton, who were all too eager to scoop him up into a scandal he could not worm his way out of.

He walked inside and found Ambrose and Finch swirling glasses of the finest whisky the gentlemen's club offered. Ben flagged down a waiter and ordered a lesser whisky on the rocks.

It would take a lot more than one little glass of whisky for him to forget that he should be looking for a wife in a sea of little girls.

"Twombley! I did not think you would be here quite this early. I heard you were out courting one of those intolerable chits. How was the experience? Is it like everything we've told you it would be?" Ambrose, who was nearing drunk, gave Ben a mirthful smile that did not hold a shred of envy. They all knew how horrifying courting could be with a poor crop to choose from. "My bet is that you were undeniably bored after only a few minutes."

Ben knew they would never understand what it felt like to have the pressures he bore. Still, he imagined it to be far more painful than it actually was. "It was not as painful as you all painted it to be."

"You must be lying." He knew then that Ambrose was on his third glass; he would have teased him far more if he held the full weight of his mind and wit. "How can any woman match the minds of us men?"

Ben knew he was goading him into saying something that would lead to a lifetime of teasing. He would have if it were someone his mama approved of.

Olivia held every bit of wit the world had to offer. Her mind stretched beyond the limits of her station. It was as if she was put on that earth specifically to show him that there was someone who could match him. She was far smarter than any of the rest of them would ever dare to give the female gender credit for. She found enjoyment in things the ladies of the ton did, but did not let that limit her.

If she were the type to run off and marry without a second thought, he would follow her.

Oh! He would follow her to the ends of the earth if he needed to.

"It is not women who must match the minds of us men but men who must match the minds of women. You will see whenever you decide to join the marriage mart yourself. You are plenty old enough to."

"Ben, Ambrose will never be mature enough to. Have you seen the running tally of dalliances he has had over the years? It must be well over a thousand with a hundred different ladies." Crane reminded him.

Ben had seen the ledger himself. It served as much of a purpose as a financial ledger as it did a record of each lady he had ever had his way with. Ben's stomach always coiled with disgust when he saw the little red book.

"I may not entirely agree with his methods, but it is worth a shot. You must experience the excitement of a temptress before you are tied up in a loveless marriage forever." Ben would think about it. He could not imagine doing such a thing. Perhaps it was just the thing he needed to change his mind about it all.

No. Even the thought of it left him feeling disgusted with himself. "I doubt I will," he said. Before his friends could fire off any kind of rebuttal, he added, "But I will think about it."

"There we go, Twombley. We are finally pulling out the fun side of you." Ambrose nudged him playfully with a knowing smile. Ben wouldn't cave that quickly.

"I always knew you would give in eventually," Crane agreed.

Ben knew almost instantly when Crane said that he would not ever truly give in. It would take a miracle and a half for his mind to change.

He would rather marry Miss Cho than do that and hate himself.

He would rather marry Olivia; that would make him the happiest man in the whole world. If the way their relationship had been progressing was any indicator, he would find no issue with living with her for the rest of their natural lives.

The way Olivia looked at him inspired his heart. The way her fingers felt on his neck was no different than a drug. His heart beat out of his chest when she closed any remaining space between them. Even through her dress, he could feel how warm her skin was.

That memory would fill a month's worth of dreams and reveries. It would take a long time to forget it completely, and that was if he did at all.

Author's Note: Ben is definitely falling for Olivia. It's so obvious. And I'm so happy. Too bad his world doesn't really work well with hers... But he's still trying anyway! I have to give him credit for that. He's going against everything everyone else wants. Vote and let me know what you think in the comments. All the best, MistyRider921.

Also, I'm super sorry for this being so late. I was super busy this weekend, so I got time to write (hence the new chapter), but no time to post.