Too Small To Be Afraid

Chapter 5

Maedri's undercity was nicer than Chancelor's. The videos on the skylights were prettier than the ones above me now, the floors weren't as worn as the tile I tread on now, and the storefronts were lit up with bright neon signs very unlike the plain and lifeless ones that Dad and I are passing by. Chancelor's undercity is dull, gray, and worn-down— or, 'well loved' as Dad put it.

"I really have missed it here," Dad says for the hundredth time.

I dismiss his comments and return my attention to my phone screen, which displays a map of Pacific Deskmate High School. I know they're more than likely going to show us around on orientation day of all days, but you can never be too prepared. I might as well study this map while I can. I don't want to show up and have no idea where I'm supposed to go. Now, where am I supposed to go?

As I'm fixating on the map of the school I notice Dad in my peripheral vision, taking a right.

"Wait, where are you going?" I ask.

"To the school, where else?" Dad laughs.

"But it's a straight path to Thorne Avenue, we don't have to turn."

Dad stops for a moment and gazes down the street. He looks up at a sign hanging above us which indicates that East Avenue runs through Seren Avenue.

"Oh," he says. "You're right. This wasn't a through street when I was a kid."

"That's why you have me to study the map before we go anywhere," I say, mentally kicking myself over the time we've just saved getting to the school.

"Right. Now, Kaylin, there's some things I want to make sure you know about having a deskmate," Dad says.

Deskmate?! I was so busy memorizing the layout of the school that I forgot exactly what I've been trying to forget— how I'm going to be someone's deskmate. How I'm going to be thrown into a forced relationship with some stranger. A perthean stranger.

My core tightens as my eyes threaten to glaze over. I clench my fist in a futile attempt to ground myself in reality.

I look up, and in front of me is a wooden balcony. I tiptoe forwards and look to the side. The balcony seems to stretch on forever in this place. I gaze ahead only to be met with an enormous set of five digits reaching straight for me. I stumble backwards in disbelief, and bolt to my right. I think I've made my getaway when a massive wall of flesh blocks my path. I turn and run the other way, but I'm halted when the five digits catch up and surround my entire being. I try to punch, to kick, to do anything to get away, but the hand enclosing me has secured itself tightly around my pathetic body. It tightens, and tightens...!

I let out a gasp, and the world around me returns to the familiar gray of Chancelor's undercity. I look around. No balcony. No enormous hands. A shuddering sigh of relief escapes me.

I look ahead to Dad, who is a bit of a ways away from me now, and I race to catch up with him.

"But anyways," he says, "just make sure to maintain eye contact and speak up. And don't make the same mistake I did by not getting their phone number when you meet." He looks back to me. "Got all that?"

"Mhm," I manage, the shock from that daydream still wearing off.

Dad stops and turns to face one of the buildings. "Here we are," he says, looking up at a faded green sign with the words 'Pacific Deskmate High School' written in a light yellow font. The sign isn't even illuminated. We could have walked right past without even noticing it.

Beneath the sign are some windows that stretch to the floor, with the entrance to the school between them. The two windows to the right of the door reflect the image of Dad and I standing a few yards away. I look at myself in the school's uniform. Wearing this doesn't feel right.