Too Small To Be Afraid

Chapter 10

Biology is easily my worst subject, but it's made a thousand times more difficult by the feeling I get when my deskmate stares at me from above. At least, I feel like he's staring at me. I haven't been able to catch him yet.

As the teacher rambles on about the makeup of DNA, I begin to doodle absentmindedly in my notebook. A paw here, some jagged fur there, and before I know it I have a crudely drawn Catmium from Stranded. That's when it hits me. That weight. I slowly turn in my seat and look up only to lock eyes with my deskmate. My face gets hot and my heart bangs against my rib cage. I immediately turn back towards my desk. So he was staring at me! Was he staring at me the whole time?! Is he still staring at me?!

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my deskmate scribbling in his notebook. After a moment, he slides the notebook beside me and taps the page. I hesitate, but end up looking at the notebook.

Is that Catmium?

What?! What does he mean 'is that Catmium'?! I know pertheans have better eyesight than humans, but could he really see a little doodle in my notebook?

My deskmate taps his fingers on the desk, like he's waiting for a response. What should I do?! I cover my drawing with my hand and pull my notebook closer to me, and hopefully out of the boy's sight. I decide to try ignoring him in hopes that he'll just leave me alone. Fortunately for me, it seems to work as he eventually pulls his notebook back towards himself with a sigh and starts erasing what he wrote. I peek behind myself once more to look at him. His eyes are drooping and his brows are upturned. I bring my focus back to the lesson being taught and decide to pay my deskmate no mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Koronian was the longest class of the day just because I knew it would be the last one. At long last, the day has come to an end and I can say 'nokyer' to this school! Well, at least until tomorrow.

"That went by way too fast," my deskmate says as he walks down the hall. "What do you think?"

I sit still in his hands, yet my heart beats just as fast as when I first laid eyes on him. I keep my head down in silence, ignoring him, hoping he'll stop trying to talk to me.

"Miss Finch? Are you alright?"

"Derrick! Over here!" yells a familiar voice.

I look up and across the hall to the balcony, where Brittney is jumping up and down. I let out a sigh of relief upon seeing her, although seeing her boyfriend standing beside the balcony sends shivers down my spine. Brittney looks so alive and full of energy while he just looks to be... stoic. Maybe even a little dead inside. I have no idea what she sees in him.

My deskmate rushes to the balcony upon hearing Brittney shouting.

"Not so loud," he whispers.

"Oh, right!" Brittney says, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Here, Miss Finch," my deskmate says, placing a finger in front of me, "let's get you onto the balcony."

I reluctantly wrap my arms around his finger, the sheer size of it still somehow managing to take me by surprise. Really, how can anyone be this big? My deskmate lifts me up and places me on the balcony beside Brittney. Once I let go and he removes his hand, all I can think about is bolting for the nearest exit. I know that I shouldn't, however, as that would definitely alert my deskmate to my fear. So instead I stay put, keeping my head down lest I look up at the boys in front of me and faint.

"How was your first day back?" my deskmate asks.

"Boooring! I'm already missing New Year's break," Brittney says.