Life After You And Me

Party Favors

I feel a gentle tug on my chest, prompting me to press my body against the warmth behind me. My boyfriend lays a soft kiss on my shoulder, letting me know he's finally up.

The ever-perceptive man seems to sense my unease immediately. He reaches out and gently brushes his fingers against my arm.

"What's wrong?"
His voice is raspy yet sweet. If my thoughts weren't in a whirlwind, I'd have my way with him right this second.

"Are you still worried about the party?"
He reads my mind and I finally turn my body to face his.

"It's her first birthday party and I've hardly done anything to contribute. And now I'm supposed to go to their home and be a guest at my own daughter's party."

It sounds silly, I know. For a long time, I've wanted more than anything to throw my baby girl a party but I couldn't afford to. I'd been saving for it and I couldn't wait to finally surprise her when I had enough funds.

But a few weeks ago, Olli offered to throw a party for her upcoming birthday. Zo had apparently been asking for it and they'd evidently confirmed with her before they did with me. I couldn't be the Grinch and say no, especially not because of my own selfish reasons.

What hurt was hearing from them that she wanted the party. Was it because they were offering or did she choose not to ask me, knowing I couldn't afford it? Should I be proud of the conscious judgment on her part or be sad she felt more comfortable telling them than me?

I later offered to help contribute to the planning and give what little money I had but Sophia was already on it and Olli wouldn't take any money from me if I forced him. My little to no knowledge of throwing an event wasn't going to be of use either and Sophia's proven background of hosting lavish parties made her the most competent.

My mother was the party planner in the family and, to be honest, I never cared to learn her tricks. But I was willing to try for Zoe.

When Olli mentioned that Sophia was planning it, I couldn't argue my case. But this is my daughter and I would've loved to be a part of the planning for her party.

How do I express that without sounding ungrateful?

"I just..."

"You wanted to plan your daughter's first-ever birthday party."
Evin simplifies the words in my mind. I could kiss him right now.

"Don't get me wrong, I appreciate her stepping in and doing this for Zo. She didn't have to and it's very sweet of her. I mean even if I could contribute, what could I have done anyway, right?"

"Hey, your simple presence in Zoe's life is more than enough. Sophia doesn't have to work, her family made sure of that. She's had all the time in the world to plan multiple parties just for practice... you are a working mother, and you're doing more than enough as it is."

As always, Evin's words send chills down my spine. Sometimes we know these things but it doesn't hurt to be reminded.

Even though I don't have the capacity or the money to plan a birthday party right now, I'm there for my daughter when it matters. And sometimes that's enough.

"You're just... I love you."
I meant to stop myself but I decide against it. It's been a few months and falling in love with Evin has been very easy.