And Yet I Still Smile

Chapter 8 - Seventeen: Sweeter than Sixteen

With Jess' permission, I told Andrew what happened between her and Ruby. I hated the idea of keeping information from Andrew, but I would have kept Jess' secret if she had asked me to. Thankfully, she trusts Andrew enough with this top-secret information that, apparently, isn't as top-secret as Jess and I think it is.

"How's Jess doing? She coming to Youth Group tonight?" Andrew asks.

"She's OK. She should be here tonight. I told her Ruby didn't show up last week and based on the chat I had with her I doubt she's coming back."

"I still can't believe you didn't know Jess was bi. I thought everyone knew. It's pretty obvious," he snickers with a shake of his head. "You didn't tell me you spoke with Ruby. How'd that go?"

"I'm still mad at her, but I wanted to find out why she treated Jess how she did. There was no reason for her to be nasty about it. She said her boyfriend didn't know she was bi so she panicked. I told her she owed Jess an apology. She didn't take that very well. She hung up on me," I shrug.

"She'll come around. Or maybe it's better for Jess if she doesn't?"

"I'm not sure. This was the first time Jess put herself out there romantically. Rejection on the first try like that hurts, but I'm sure she'll be fine. OK, let's get started!"

Andrew and I are sitting in the church parking lot on the hood of his car. My final driving test is next week, but I still suck at parallel parking. Andrew set up trash cans as lines and dead tree branches as a makeshift curb. I'm hoping that using his car to practice will be easier than my mom's giant trailblazer.

"OK, birthday girl, let's go. But you dent my car and...you probably won't even know the difference," he laughs with a side-eye glance at his beat-up Honda.

"Birthday isn't till Monday," I say.

"But we're celebrating tonight. That makes you the birthday girl."

"Yeah, yeah."

I told Andrew I didn't want to do anything for my birthday this year. Memories of last year's disaster still linger too close to my core memories. He insisted we at least have cake, but suggested we do it at Youth Group. The idea of church and Pastor Rich always nearby felt like a safety net I could cling to so I agreed.

I get into the driver's seat of Andrew's car and he takes the passenger's seat. I'll never get tired of the way his car smells so much like him. After adjusting the mirrors and buckling up, I start the car. My palms are sweaty on the steering wheel and my heart begins to flutter.

"Pretend that trash can is the back of another car. Pull up alongside it so our back bumper is lined up next to it," Andrew instructs.

Step by step, he directs me. Using a smaller car doesn't make me any better, though. Attempt one: I hit a tree branch. Attempt two: I hit the back trash can. Attempt three: tree branch again.

On the fourth try, Andrew gets out of the car and tells me when to stop. With him acting as my eyes, I finally get it.

"Great! Now, pull out and do it again. We'll do it this way a few times, and then you can try again on your own," Andrew tells me.

And so we do. Andrew gives me instructions through the open window. I pay attention to when he tells me to stop and where the car is in relation to the other objects. He guides me when I can't see leading me toward success.

After my fifth time parking on my own without hitting anything, I jump out of the car. "I got it! I think I really got it! Thank you! You're a great teacher!" I run into his arms and kiss him excitedly on the lips.